confession (/c/confession)
I stole a girl’s glasses
When I was a kid, my dad was overseas in the army and I answered his phone call pretending to be my mother and he did not realize it until I started talking about my kindergarten class.
I secretly broke my girlfriend's expensive shoes so she will stop wearing them
I lied to the police to get students out of a driving ban
I lied about my height to sound more attractive
I pretended to be blind at a supermarket to get a free cake
I stole all of my younger sisters toys as a child.
I used to go into peoples houses and pretend I was their kid when I was a child.
I took my daughter's pet chicken outside while she was at school and drowned it under the water hose.
​ I gave a kid a blowjob in a public restroom.
I lied about my height on my drivers license
I used to lie about being raped at 7 years old and slept with my female friends in their late 20s because I wanted to feel like a victim
I used to work at a fast food restaurant my friend owned back in the 90s and the phone would ring and if my friend was busy he’d tell me to go in the bathroom and answer the phone and pretend to be a pizza place so he didn’t have to make pizzas.
I legally don’t have to pay child support.
I stole hundreds of dollars in cash as a kid and bought stuff from it.
I had sex with my dead friend
I gave myself a large amount of illegal drugs in an attempt to detox and I got very sick
I forged a doctor’s note to get my coworkers vaccinated sooner.
I Kill Baby Fish
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