I had sex with my dead friend

I was dating my friend from highschool. We dated for only 6 months then one day when I came home I found him dead he never woke up. I never felt so lost, stupid and dumb that I was so in love with him but still that was our first time. I know it sounds so disgusting, sick and wrong. I never thought someone would ever see this post but deep down in my heart I knew it was wrong to touch a dead body let alone doing it. <br><br>After dating for all of 6 months we still never had any type of sex, not even oral. I was so in love with him and he also felt the same way. When he passed away, I was the only person at the apartment and the first person to see him like that. I am not gonna lie, I am a sick person and I took advantage of him and had sex with him. I never thought he would die and this would be my ONLY chance. I don't know if i should feel ashamed of myself or not. <br><br>He never said no to doing it with me when he was alive but I just feel disgusted and sick in a way that I took advantage of him but also in a way I'm glad I did because he was the only person I loved in my life. But I still feel bad because I also wanted to do it with him while he was alive but now he's gone and I will never see him again.