I lied to my husband about my past and he found out about it.

Before meeting my husband, I dated a few guys, most of which only lasted short periods, but some did last longer. I was sexually active since I was 17, which was also the age I got drunk for the first time and started smoking. Obviously, I was very promiscuous, which is something I always regret. I was also reckless in retailoring and lying about my past of promiscuity. <br><br>When I met my husband, he was a Christian boy and had great intentions and was funny and suggested we wait till marriage. I agreed to his request, and after a year of dating we did get married. I lied to him about my virginity, told him I was a Christian too (which I am not), and hid from him pictures of me smoking and drinking as well as hid my smoking and drinking habit after meeting him. We are 22 and are married for 2 years now. This year he found out from my friends about the whole past and he was devastated and he is still hurt from it. He even suggested we get a full-body check up done to make sure I don’t have any diseases. I confessed to him about my past and that I had been lying to him. I told him I lied because he made me feel like I was a bad person for engaging in all those things, and I loved him and didn’t want to lose him. <br><br>He is feeling as though he married a liar and that everything was a lie. I confessed to him I am not a Christian, I was sexually active, I have had 10 sexual partners, and that I lied to him about my virginity. He told me he loves me but he doesn’t know if he can trust me anymore. I told him I would do anything to make up for it and he wants me to stop smoking and drinking, but he told me he needed time alone. I told him that’s fine but I hope he doesn’t plan on leaving me as our life is built together and we have a retail business together. He told me he does love me and isn’t planning on leaving. But he needs time. <br><br>We have been married for two years now and he only recently suggested we work on having a child. I agreed to it and I feel bad because of the whole lying thing. <br><br>How can I fix this? How can I get him to trust me again? He told me he is still hurt from it and doesn’t know how he feels. I told him I would do anything to make up for it and that I was sorry, but I feel like he doesn’t see how bad I feel about it and how bad I feel about lying and hiding it from him.