The day i got caught shoplifting i set off two alarms because i hid the item so poorly

I used to shoplift on a very regular basis when i was in highschool and i almost never got caught. I stole so much shit it eventually got boring after 3 years. <br>The way i would do it is i would stuff what i wanted down the back of my pants and into my underwear and then work on that backpack you see on the front page. One time i stole an entire 5 pound bag of chocolates and i didn't even like them. I had to eat them outside in the rain and almost made myself sick. <br><br><br>I found a $17 baseball bat and hid it exactly on my ass down my pants. I walked out to no alarm so i thought i was safe. <br>I got about 100 meters away from the store when i heard yelling and footsteps. They grabbed me by the back of the neck and held it in place while i tried to get away and started to drag me back. <br>The mall cop pulled out cctv footage of me doing what i did and you can very clearly see a huge bat wobbling down the back of my pants as i walked out. I was a little bitch and i started to cry so they said they would let me go with a warning but next time i got caught i'd be in big trouble. <br>I like to imagine mall cops think they have a lot more power than they do.