I killed a cat

When I was a kid I was very cruel and was raised in an environment where animal abuse was normalized. When I was around 14 there was a stray calico that was roaming my neighborhood and she would come to my house a few times a day to be fed by me and my family. She also had kittens but she didn’t bring them to my house, they stayed in some bushes somewhere. One time while she was eating her food, I grabbed her and threw her into the oven and then started making these high pitched shrieking noises. She was in so much pain and was freaking out, I ended up having to hit her with a baseball bat to kill her/make her stop screaming. I went on with my day like it was no big deal and when my mom came home she asked me where the cat was and I told her what happened and just laughed because I thought it was funny at the time. She was clearly horrified but let it go. I feel so much remorse for doing that but still laugh about it in my head when I think of it.