Middle aged white guy here. I give *everyone* who serves me sushi a big tip, just so they think I’m cool

Edit: I don’t think anyone noticed the part about “everyone who serves me sushi”. I literally give a $20-$100 tip to every server, buser, and chef I meet just to get them to see me and smile… it’s not just for the Asian servers, it’s for everyone… I really thought that was clear. I’m not a racist. I do racist things, but I’m not a racist. There’s a difference. <br><br>Edit 2: Okay, so I’m not racist, but everyone who thinks I am is also not racist. Everything about my original post is racist, but my entire life is not racist. I’m not trying to dodge any bullets here or throw anyone under the bus. If you see anything I post as racist, you’re not racist and I’m not racist, but what you read was racist… there’s a difference. <br><br>Edit 3: I’d like to add that my original post was obviously satirical. Obviously, I don’t give $100 tips to everyone, that would be absurd. But obviously, I do *sometimes* give $100 tips to everyone. And when I do, it’s only because I want them to like me. But I’m not shallow, because tips aren’t for the sake of a social media post. I don’t do it for likes. I do it because I want to make people happy, and when I make people happy, I’m happy too. <br><br>Edit 4: I’ve never been called a racist or an asshole in my life. These comments have opened my eyes. I didn’t realize people could see so deep into me and my lies. It’s not really in my nature to try to make a fool out of people, so I’m not really sure why I felt the need to try to make a fool out of reddit. Maybe it’s because I want chambers to like me and want to be my friend. I know it looks like I thought I was too clever, but in reality, I just wanted to be popular. <br><br>Edit 5: Okay so I’m gonna come clean here - I’m not actually Bill Hader. I don’t really give out $100 tips. I lied about that to get people to like me. But seriously, I have given out *multiple* $20 tips to *everyone* at *every single restaurant* I’ve been to my whole life. I also leave a $20 tip on the table for the bus boy and the chef and the food critic and the food inspector and the health inspector. <br><br>Edit 6: I really thought this would just die after a few hours. I didn’t expect it to go viral. <br><br>Edit 7: Okay, so I’m gonna come clean here - when I said I was Bill Hader, that was just a bit. I’m actually a 47 year old stay-at-home mom of 3. I thought you guys would appreciate the comedy of an unassuming 40-something mom pretending to be a self-absorbed celebrity, so I went with it. But everything I said about my tipping, that was all true.