I almost got fired for farting at work

I work as a software engineer at a company with around 200 workers. There are ~20 people in my group in an open space office. I have been here for five years and am well liked and considered to be one of the top engineers. I have won several company wide technical awards for my work. I have a great relationship with everyone in the company, from engineers to the janitor. I am a great communicator and an awesome team player. I have mentored several people within the company and ~20 newcomers in the industry. <br><br>I am very confident in my work and have encouraged my management to open up new opportunities. I have delivered several company wide technical presentations and have gotten praise for my work from the CEO and several VPs. I have written code that has saved the company millions of dollars. I own ~12 patents. I was well on my way for a promotion that would give me a significant pay raise and influence. <br><br>I am 5' 11'' (180 cm) and 165 lbs (75 kg) with 9% body fat. My blood work is spotless. I have been tested for diabetes and have been given a clean bill of health. I have no other medical conditions. I get checked every six months. My doctor says I will easily live to over 90. <br><br>There is nothing wrong with my digestive system. Everything functions perfectly. My shit is solid and almost odourless, my farts are mostly silent and I never experience gas discomfort. <br><br>On a normal Monday morning, I get up 45 minutes earlier than normal to shit. This is so I don't shit in the 45 minute window before leaving for work and getting a stomach ache during the commute. <br><br>I ate a huge breakfast and then went for a 1 hour run before getting my morning coffee. My digestive system then told me it was time to shit. I went to the bathroom and shit twice. It was a lot of shit too. All of a sudden, I felt like I had to shit again. This was highly unusual for me. I shit 2-3 times a day at most. I shit again and then didn't have to shit anymore. I felt like I had a huge gas bubble in my lower stomach. <br><br>After driving to work, I was feeling gas discomfort for the first time in my life. I didn't think much of it and went to work as usual. I said hi to everyone and sat at my desk. All of a sudden, as I was sitting, I thought my chair had broken. It felt like someone stuck a pin in my ass. At first, I thought it was a random stomach cramp, but it felt more intense and for a longer time. I then realised I had shit my pants. <br><br>I didn't get up and walk straight to the bathroom as I was expecting it to be liquid. I didn't want to shit on the carpet and ruin it. So I sat for a few minutes in shock. I couldn't believe it. There was no way I had shit my pants. This was the first time I had ever shit my pants as an adult. I then got up and took my bag with me. I went to the handicapped bathroom and checked my pants. Sure enough, there was a huge shit stain in my underwear. Luckily, the shit was solid, and I hadn't shit down my pant leg. <br><br>I had never been so ashamed in my life. I had never felt like such a worthless loser. I felt like no one could ever respect me again. I didn't know what to do. I had never been in this position before. I was terrified to go past security to outside to go home. <br><br>I called security and told them what happened. I told them if they saw me walking out, I didn't want them to stop me. They then called facilities. I then called my manager and told them what had happened. I told her it was a medical emergency and I had to go home. She said ok and told me she would call HR. <br><br>I went back to my desk to get my car keys. I then drove home. I couldn't believe it. I had never shit my pants. I never thought I would. I was furious. I called my doctor and told them what happened. She told me to come in. I went in and got blood work done and a physical check up. I was told that everything was fine. It may have been something I ate that I was allergic to. <br><br>I didn't go back to work for a few days. I then got a call from my manager and it wasn't good. She told me one of my co-workers had complained to facilities about the state of the bathroom. Apparently there was shit on the seat and on the floor. Facilities had taken a picture and sent it to my manager. <br><br>My manager told me I would be fired, but only if I didn't come clean to my entire team about what happened. I didn't want to go home, so I agreed. She told me exactly what to say. I was ashamed but wanted my job. <br><br>I went to work the next day and on the way to the elevator, several co-workers approached me and said they were glad to see me. I told them I had a medical condition that caused me to shit my pants. We chatted about it for a while and then they went on their way. <br><br>When I got to my desk, my manager asked me to go to the conference room. My whole group was there. I sat at the head of the table and I said word for word what my manager told me to say. <br><br>"I shit my pants in the bathroom last week, so I had to go home. I am sorry for the inconvenience I may have caused and I am not a shitty person." <br><br>There was a long silence, then everyone started to laugh. They told me there was no need to apologise and it could happen to anyone. They all liked me and my sense of humour. I went back to work like nothing had happened. <br><br>That was 8 years ago. I have never shit my pants since. I am now a Senior Technical Architect at a Fortune 100 company.