I horribly vandalized my school when I was in middle school, and I have never told anyone that it was me.

**UPDATE: Hi everyone, I was genuinely touched by the number of messages I received of support and positive feedback after I made this confession. Because I posted it on r/all as well, I got a massive number of replies and it was impossible to keep up with them all on my own. That being said, I read through EVERY single comment on this thread, as well as every message and reply. Thank you to everyone who was so kind and supportive. Although I have not yet taken any steps to rectify the situation (I am going to talk to my dad and see if he has any advice about what I should do), your support and positive words did inspire me to take this huge step. For those of you who did not react with such positivity, thank you too. I am not dumb or blinded by my own ego, I realize that I did something wrong and I take full responsibility for that. Needless to say, I will not be disclosing my location, but I will tell you that this happened many years ago and it was not just me who did it (although I have no intention of ratting out my ex friends) and it was not at an actual high school.**<br><br>I (24F) am not sure if I am using the term “vandalize” properly, or if I am just using it as a way to downplay what I actually did, but either way, I am admitting it now because it’s been too long to let it sit and eat away at me and I have no one to tell this secret to. When I was younger it was a fun story to tell, but after I entered adulthood, that guilt and shame set in more and more.<br><br>When I was 13, my friends and I were constantly bored. School had just ended for the summer, and we were all burned out from being in school and still having to do all of the homework assigned by the teachers during the last week of school. So we decided we were going to break in to our school and pull off a massive prank. Looking back on it, it was not a prank, it was destructive and immature.<br><br>We spent weeks casing out the school and finding weak spots in the walls and doors. For some reason, we were just able to waltz onto school property without anyone stopping us. We were a relatively small town, so I have no idea who was supposed to be keeping an eye on the school during the summer. But we had no problem. <br><br>My friends went in through the front doors, which they picked the locks to. They met up with me and the other two who went through a hole in the wall that led into the maintenance room. From there we basically went on a destruction rampage. We smashed every window in the school. All the light fixtures and ceiling tiles were ripped out. The chalk boards were all smashed. We ripped up all the carpet, which is what we used to set fire to the main offices. <br><br>We had a great time. Although, looking back on it now that I am an adult and seeing how stupid it all was, it still kind of cracks me up. Not to the point of laughter, but there is a certain level of satisfaction in thinking about the looks on our principal and vice principal's faces when they saw the school in ruins. I am not Proud of what I did, but there is still that element of beneath it all when I think about it.<br><br>I never once feared that I would get caught. We had a foolproof plan to get in, and we covered our tracks. We were careful not to leave anything we owned in the school and none of us were ever questioned. We were never caught because no one knew it was us.<br><br>I never told my parents what I did. They thought that I was staying at my friends houses the nights I was out at the school, and vice versa. They never would have approved if they had known, but they also would never have believed me to be capable of something like this. <br><br>I just don't know what to do with this secret now that I am an adult. How do I go into the world as an adult when I am not even able to own up to my past as a child?