I cheated on my friend’s ex-boyfriend and it destroyed 2 friendships that meant the world to me

I made a new Instagram account just for this, I don’t want this posted on my main account. <br><br>I (18F) met him (24M) through my gymnastics friend. He was a gymnast and I was immediately intimidated by him, he was SO good looking and was very confident.<br><br>He asked me out, and I was super excited. We went on a few dates, and then he said he didn’t want a relationship and wanted to be friends with benefits. I was a bit disappointed, but didn’t want to lose him completely, so I said yes. I realise now that was a huge mistake.<br><br>He was amazing in bed and made me feel so pretty and wanted whenever we were together. I was addicted to him. I know that sounds so stupid. And he made me feel like I was over him whenever I wasn’t. He was a very understanding and kind person and made sure I was okay the whole time. I know he cared about me but I also know he didn’t want me.<br><br>He broke it off with me when he met someone else. He told me he wanted a relationship and couldn’t do that if he was still with me. I accepted it and was okay. I was actually really happy for him.<br><br>It didn’t last long, he broke up with her a week later and I ran back into his arms. I know that makes me look stupid. I just couldn’t lose him again. He started going back to the gym and seeing me again.<br><br>It was all going good until his new girlfriend (who was also a gymnast) found out. She told everyone and now no one will talk to me. I’ve lost a friend and a sport that I love.<br><br>And to make it worse, he’s told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he wants to be with her. I am devastated.<br><br>I am so angry at myself. Why couldn’t I just leave him?