Every night I hear someone knocking at my front door. It's always a woman, and she always says my mom's name.

*** warning: Long. This is my first post, and I'm in desperate need of advice. I don't know what else to do anymore. ***<br><br>I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm just trying to release something emotional, and this is my only way to do it. My mind has been filled with so much negative thoughts recently and I'm sick of it. I can't escape these thoughts cause they're based on my reality. <br><br>Every night I hear someone knocking at my front door. It's always a woman, and she always says my mom's name. And quite frankly, it creeps the hell out of me. I was 10 when my mother suddenly disappeared, and I never found out what had happened to her. Neither did my father. And now, 7 years later, it's like my family couldn't move past the pain she left behind. My father is an alcoholic and my grandma, well she's just a bitter woman. She lives with us and she is everything but pleasant.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I remember hearing these knocks for the first time when I was 13. It was three knocks followed by a woman's voice asking if my mom was there. I couldn't see her, but it sounded like she was quite close to the door. I remember feeling sick. This was a moment I had been waiting for for three years, and here it was. I just couldn't believe it was real. I rushed to the door and opened it in a state of panic, but there was no one there. I searched the street in both directions but I couldn't see a single soul present. It was 1:12 am, and my neighborhood was dead. I was finally alone. <br><br>The next day I told my dad about it, but he didn't believe me. He said maybe it was a dream, or maybe I just wasn't feeling okay. I don't even think he believed himself. But I knew. I knew it was real. My family just decided to drown the matter and move past it, which I couldn't do. I was obsessed with the idea of potentially finding my mother. This made me angry and quite resentful towards them. I just feel like we should have reported this to the authorities and do something about it. Anything. But we didn't. We just moved past it like it was nothing. My grandma even said that maybe it was a sign to move past the subject and forget about my mother once and for all cause she was gone. And maybe she was right. But I just couldn't do it. <br><br>And then it kept happening. For months and years on end, the same scenario happened every night. The knocks. This woman and her voice. Asking for my mother. Every night was like the first night for me and I couldn't help but feel so terrified every time it happened. I would wake up scared and my heart would pound fast every night. I just couldn't understand what was happening. Why was my mother doing this? Why wasn't she taking my dad's money to pay for her heroin? Why wasn't my dad doing anything about this? The questions just couldn't stop popping into my head and I couldn't just stop it. This subject took over my entire life and it just couldn't escape my mind. My obsession with it just couldn't seem to end. I would check the cameras every night, but they never captured a single frame of a person near my door. It just felt like torture. This subject took over my life and quite frankly it just couldn't stop. Every night was a soulcrushing night. A night which I couldn't wait to get it over with. <br><br>Things recently took a turn for the worse. The woman is now sometimes knocking on my window, and she's no longer just asking for my mother. The last time it happened, she was saying these weird phrases. Phrases like my mother's in danger. Phrases like she's coming. And quite frankly, I'm in a state of panic. This subject took over my life and it quite frankly I couldn't care less about school anymore. I just can't care less about anything else. <br><br>And now I'm here. I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I wrote this. Quite frankly, I'm just lost and I'm in need for advice. What should I do? What do you think is happening here? And quite frankly, how should I stop this subject from taking over my life? I would appreciate any sort of advice. Any. I'm desperate. And quite frankly, if anyone has an idea what might be happening here, please tell me. I can't stop thinking about this.<br> <br>And I just can't sleep through the night anymore. Every night I wake up to the knocks. Every night I wake up to hear a woman I don't know asking for my mother. And quite frankly, I don't think I can take it anymore. I just can't.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Ok. Thank you. My grandma recently bought a gun, so I might just use it if this woman ever turns up at the door. Thank you all. I think I might just take my life in my hand. But, I will let you know if anything happens.