I starved myself for months

I have done a lot of really destructive and horrible things for attention. I starved myself so much that I woke up fainting a lot of times. I spent 80% of last year in a hospital because of this. All of this for online validation, for people I don't even know to tell me to "eat something". I had binged to an unhealthy weight and wanted to die. I still want to die. Everytime I think about how pathetic I was and still am I just want to end my life. Everytime someone comments on my weight I want to die. I barely have any friends and I am alone. I am not skinny and beautiful, I am fat and ugly. All of the people who told me to eat were right but I would never admit it to them. I am an ugly person and I hate myself. <br><br>This is a confession, not something that I want advice on. Please do not comment your concern on this.