I used to crave pre-teen boys when I was younger

I'm a 50 yo woman. I was a 13 yo girl. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, I just couldn't help myself. I still can't crave pre-teen boys but I crave pre-teen boys. I'm in my late 30s when I crave them and I can't help myself. I've never had an adult man. They don't turn me on. I'm probably too old to be physically attracted to them now but I still have a sex drive and I still crave pre-teen boys. I can't help myself. I don't know why I'm like this but I'm glad I've never hurt anyone. I've been lonely my whole life.<br><br>Edit - I definitely understand if my admission disgusts you. I've been disgusted with myself my whole life. I can't help the way I feel and I've learned to accept that. I've never hurt anyone and I crave them because I'm an adult and I can't satisfy my own sex drive. I still don't even fully understand it myself. I can't explain it. I can't help myself. I'm not unhappy with my life and I'm not blaming anyone for my issues.