I am a search and rescue diver and the things I’ve seen down there fuck me up every time I think about them

You probably think I’m a normal guy, I was a normal guy, but when you've seen what I’ve seen it changes you. It all happened in such a short amount of time too, I didn't even get a chance to process anything. I wasn't even in the water for more than 15 minutes but in that short 15 minutes my life was changed forever. <br><br>My name is Brian Holmes and I'm a search and rescue diver for the NYPD. I’ve been doing this for 8 years now, and nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened on that day. It all happened back in 2018, in the summer. It started off nothing more than a regular missing persons case; some kid's parents hadn't seen him for a couple days and he hadn’t gone to school in the same amount of time. I don't remember his name, I don’t even remember his age or his appearance. All I remember is that I found his dead body at the bottom of the lake and it changed me forever. <br><br>It was an extremely hot day. I remember that much. The sun was blistering as we pulled up to the building in our truck. It was a regular apartment building, a small place that fit maybe 10 families or so. It was in a pretty good condition, not run down at all, no graffiti anywhere, no trash, nothing. The basic middle class family. They were waiting for us in front of the apartment, with the police and a chopper. <br>The mother was crying, screaming almost, while the father was consoling her, the little sister was crying too. They were waiting for us. Me and Mark. We were both dressed in our gear, our scuba suits and oxygen tanks. We were expected to go in the lake almost immediately, so we had to be prepared. They had given us the coordinates, and we were to jump in as soon as possible, because the chances of the kid being alive were low, and the chances of us finding him were even lower. The parents knew that. <br><br>As I said, there was a helicopter above the lake, and it was going to help guide us to the specific location where the kid was last spotted. The sun made the water look blue and clear as we jumped in. It was cold, very cold, considering it was the middle of the summer. But that didn't matter at this point. <br>We swam deeper and deeper all while being guided by the chopper and its spotlight. We were going straight for the bottom, and we were close. The water was dark, I couldn’t see a thing. All I could see was the light from above, but it was barely making it all the way to the bottom. That was when we saw it. We swam towards it as fast as we could, all while our heart rates shot up, and that was it. We found the kid.<br><br>I don't know how to describe it, what I saw. It was horrible. The first thing that I noticed was a very bad smell all of a sudden, and I couldn't breathe in, so I had to close my mouth and breathe through the helmet to keep myself from vomiting. I was preoccupied, I didn't notice it at first, but as I got closer, I finally saw it. The body. It was the kid .He was face down on the lake bottom, and his body was decomposing. I could see the bones almost, some parts were torn apart, and blood surrounded his dead body. To say the least, he'd been down there for quite some time.<br><br>His dad had called the cops almost two days before we had found him, but he'd been dead longer than that. His body was decomposed, but I think you figured that out already. I recognized him because of the clothes. He was wearing a white shirt full of holes and ripped jeans that were soaked in blood. There was a stench that surrounded him, and you could smell it from a distance. It was the rotting smell of a decomposing body. I didn't really need to check if he was alive or not, he clearly wasn't, so Mark and I lifted him and started going back to the surface. The decomposing body started to tear up a little bit and some blood came out of his mouth and nose. Mark and I were going up slowly to avoid getting the Bends, but we were also preoccupied so it was hard to focus on trying to not get the Bends because all I was thinking about was the dead body. <br><br>When we got to the surface, we put the body on a boat and went back to shore, and called the parents to come see their dead son as we were putting him in the body bag. They knew he was dead, but seeing the dead body of your son is a hard pill to swallow. They did not take it well. The mother just fell on the ground and started crying, and the little sister too, while the father just looked at his son and said these words, with tears in his eyes “ I should have looked after you. It's my fault. I should have looked after you.” The parents were escorted into the truck, and as we were leaving, Mark said to me “ did you smell that? Smelled like rotting flesh.” I answered “ yeah, it was horrible, I almost threw up.” he said “ no, after, when we were going up the hill. Smelled like he was still with us. Found his home didn't he?” I didn't really answer, I don't know why. But all I know is that after that day, I was never the same. All I could think about was his comments, and all I could smell was that stench. It’s been five years now and the memory is still fresh in my mind, and I can still smell the rotting flesh.