I stole her sex toy and ejaculated in it every time she was away

We were living together in a one room efficiency in Waco, TX. It was a great time, there wasn't any drama. But one day, I discovered she had this silicone phallic shaped toy in her nightstand. I snuck off with it and cleaned it and then masturbated with it and ejaculated in it. I felt so nasty and guilty, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't admit to it. So I'd do it every time she was at school or work. She'd ask me if I "played with myself" when she was away, I'd just deny it every time. But the truth was, I couldn't stop playing with myself and her toy. I couldn't admit it to her because I was afraid she'd think I was gay or something. I eventually lost it in the couch and she demanded to know where it was. I was too afraid to admit that I lost it. But, I was in the dog house for losing it. She liked that toy because she said she could pretend it was me whenever I was away. I'm just glad I don't have to live in the guilt of it anymore.