How to instantly pass a police sobriety test

1. DO NOT talk. If the cop asks you anything, you barely answer. If the cop asks you things like how much have you drank you respond to the effect of “enough not to answer questions”.<br> <br>2. DO answer the police the moment he asked you if you want to perform a sobriety test. If you are not prepared you will lose with even a blood alcohol level of 0%.<br> <br>3. The police will ask you to watch his pen. Keep looking above the pen instead of directly at it. The police is trying to distract you (and the camera) from watching his left eye or movement. If you are drunk the police will “trick” you into having nystagmus. Look above the pen and not directly at it. If the police asks you to follow his finger it is the same trick. The police is trying to get you into putting his finger to your face because it may cause your eyes to cross and then the police would claim you have nystagmus.<br> <br>4. If the police asks you to walk straight then stop after 3 steps. Do not move until he asks you to continue. The police will count off the number of steps you took. If you stop after 3 steps then he would never be able to finish the count.<br> <br>5. If the police asks you to stand on one foot then do not put your arms to the side. Keep them on your hips and do not move. The police will try to get you the twitch a little bit. He would claim the twitch is a sign of intoxication but it is just a trick. If the police is trying to trick you then he is dead set on giving you a DUI.<br><br>6. If the police asks you to do a breathalyzer then point out things in the surrounding that is wrong. For example you could say “that man has a gun!”, or “watch out for that child playing with the cat near the street!”, or “I’m allergic to peanuts and your uniform has peanut crumbs on it!”. The goal is to distract the police into giving you a valid reason to refuse the breathalyzer.<br> <br>7. If the police asks you to take a blood test then say you are religious and that the blood test violates your belief. This is a valid reason to decline the blood test.<br> <br>8. If you did everything right then the police may arrest you and then let you go and send you a notice for DUI in the mail. The police may also claim that they lost the camera footage as an excuse for why it is not admissible. On the day of court you need to hire an expensive lawyer to represent you because the lawyers appointed by the court would be in cahoots with the police. If you do not have a good lawyer then it is hopeless. In a few months you would lose your license and pay a hefty fine. But hey the police at least did their job and helped keep you safe from drunk driving.