I Lured a Homeless Woman to My House, Hoping to Fuck Her

I (M43) did this almost 10 years ago. It was terribly exploitative and manipulative on my part and I've carried a profound sense of shame and guilt over it for a long time.<br><br>At the time, I had just gone through a pretty rough divorce. My ex-wife had been having an affair with her boss for the last two years of our marriage. She left me for him once I confronted her about it. This incident destroyed my ego and I became desperate for any sense of validation I could get.<br><br>I found myself striking up conversations with homeless women near my office with the sole intention of trying to fuck them. Most of them would just ignore me and walk away but there was this one lady, "Evelyn". She agreed to talk to me. I'd bring her food and drinks and sometimes even give her money for bus fare.<br><br>I didn't reveal to her right away that I had ulterior motives. I was trying to make myself come across as the nicest guy in the world. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to invite her to my house. She said yes.<br><br>When she came to my house, we talked over a bottle of wine I'd bought. As the night went on, I offered her a shower which she happily accepted. I'll never forget her face when I showed her to the bathroom. It was this look of relief and happiness that I can still picture in my head to this day. It was like it was the first time she'd been able to feel human in years. She thanked me very graciously as I handed her a towel and left her to her own devices.<br><br>When she got out, she looked ten times more attractive. Maybe it was the wine. I really don't know. But I actually found myself *wanting* her in a way I hadn't felt in years. I started kissing her and then I fucked her on my bed. I told her I loved her over and over again afterwards. She didn't say it back. I remember just watching her sleep afterwards and feeling this dark feeling in my gut but I didn't listen. I ignored it and went on with the night.<br><br>I would spend the rest of the week "taking care" of her, but it was really just an elaborate ruse to get her to keep coming over and having sex with me. I never made her do anything she didn't want to do but I feel like the power dynamic was so heavily weighted in my favor that it was incredibly exploitative and scumbag-ish on my part.<br><br>To make a long story short, she went on her way after getting bored with the little "arrangement" we'd come to. I haven't thought of her in years but lately, she's been on my mind a lot and I feel really terrible that I used her like that. I haven't been with a homeless woman ever since and hopefully, this is the last time.<br><br>Edit:<br><br>Wow, I didn't think this post would blow up at all. Thank you all for your feedback. It's been enlightening to say the least. Yes, I understand that what I did constituted as prostitution.<br><br>Also, I apologize to the female commenter that messaged me her story. I sincerely feel sorry for what happened to you. Thank you for sharing.<br><br>Lastly, yes I've thought about Evelyn from time to time over the years. I wish her well and the best in life.