My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) broke up because she wouldn’t let me touch her.

Hi! So I had a girlfriend until recently who I was very much in love with. She had some things go on in her past that were difficult to talk about, and it was hard for her to trust people. Because of this, she was not very comfortable being touched. <br><br>At first this was okay. I understood that she needed time to open up, so I had patience with her. She was willing to hold my hand in public, but touching her hair or face would cause her to become very uncomfortable very quickly. We were together for a year. <br><br>Sometimes I would just need physical affection. I’d ask her for a hug, and she would deny it every time. She said it was too much pressure on her chest, and it made her claustrophobic. I’d have to go sit alone and just hug myself. This felt pathetic. <br><br>Some days I wouldn’t even get to hold her hand, but other days she would want to cuddle and be super affectionate and loving. It was confusing, and I felt like I couldn’t rely on her, even for something as basic as a hug. I really don’t like people except her so it was frustrating. <br><br>I am a very physically affectionate person, so this was very hard for me. I would explain to her how I felt and she would tell me that I was valid, and she would try to make time for me and give me a hug and a kiss, but she would act very relieved when I was done and she could go back to her computer and ignore me again. <br><br>I feel like my love language is touch. I don’t expect to constantly be touching someone, but I need a hug and a kiss as part of our morning and nighttime routine. I need to hold hands sometimes, or arms around each other, depending on the activity. I would have been okay with as little as once or twice a day, but I felt like I needed to beg her for it. <br><br>I hoped that in a year she would trust me enough to be more affectionate with me. But as time went on, she never made an effort to be more physically affectionate. She told me that she had always been this way, and would always be this way, and that she didn’t know how to change even if she wanted to. <br><br>I felt like she was invalidating my needs, and making me feel lesser for wanting the physical affection that I want. I wanted to find a compromise so I proposed a love jar. In this jar, we would write down all the ways she felt comfortable being affectionate, and all the ways I felt comfortable, and we could pick from the jar and do one thing a day. This way, I would always get at least one display of affection, and she could always have a choice and feel in control. <br><br>She said no. She told me I should be happy with the amount of affection she gave me, and I wasn’t so I broke up with her. Was I in the right? Or was I being selfish and expecting too much?