[USA] - shoplifting a Hostess Zingers box from Aldi

It's midnight on a Saturday, and I am drunk, but just a little bit. Say 25% drunk. I drove up to the Aldi, and I decided, hey, I don't want to pay for a Zingers snack cake. The box is only $1 anyway. I am going to try to shoplift.<br>I get in there and I take a box on my left side. I am a male, so I am trying to hide it in my waistband. It's not going well, but it's better than nothing. I walk up to the checkout and I give the cashier an entire bottle of chianti. I drink it all down, and I decide I'm not going to pay. I walk out. Just walked out. I am excited. I am proud. I feel like I accomplished something. I put the Zingers in my car and I drive off. I killed it. I feel like I'm untouchable.