I'm sick to my stomach after what my wife told me about her past.

Hey guys, I'm writing this post because I don't even know where to go right now. I've been feeling absolutely sick to my stomach and I feel betrayed and violated. <br>I have been in a relationship for almost 5 years and over that time I've always felt just so lucky to be with my wife. She is beautiful, smart, very well put together, has every good thing a man could ask for. I was better than her physically and financially and I always felt like I was just so lucky to be with her. I love her more than anything and I felt like she felt the same. So I trusted her, I trusted her completely, I thought she would never do anything to hurt me. That's what I thought at least. <br>Fast forward to three days ago. We were having a serious conversation and she told me about her past. She told me that before we met she had a boyfriend who she was with for 5 years and he cheated on her the whole time. Then she told me that she was the other woman for another guy who was married. Then she told me that the night before we met she hooked up with a guy she met at a bar and the next night she hooked up with me. I asked her if she was with him, and she said no. I asked her when they stopped hookup and she said it was atleast a year after we met. I asked her if they ever had intercourse and she said yes. I asked her how long after we met did they start having intercourse and she said "maybe six months". I asked her when they stopped having intercourse and she said "Maybe like a year after we started?". I was so upset I had to get out of the car. I just walked around the block a few times, feeling sick to my stomach. My wife came after me and asked what was wrong. I told her I just needed a minute, she kept asking what was wrong and I finally broke down and told her "you mean to tell me you were hooking up with another man the whole time we were together? You were sleeping with him for atleast a year? Maybe more!". She started tearing up and got into the car. We drove home in silence. When we got home I asked her what she thought she was doing and she said "I don't know I just really liked him". I asked her how long after they stopped hooking up did she go back to him and she said "I never stopped seeing him went I met you, we were together when we got married". I asked her how long after we got married did they keep seeing each other and she said "Forever". I asked her how long forever is and she said "for atleast 3 years". I asked her if I was the only man she's slept with since we've been married and she said "yes". I asked her if she was still in love with him and she said "no, the time stamp probably ended a long time ago". I asked her how long after we met did the time stamp end and she said "I don't know do the math". I asked her if he's still alive and she said "yes". I asked her if she was in touch with him and she said "yes". I asked her how close she was to him and she said "not very". I asked her if he was married and she said "yes". I asked her if she knew he was married when they hooked up and she said "no". I asked her if she was mad at him when she found out he was married and she said "no". I asked her why not and she said "I don't know he told me he loved me". I asked her why she let him cheat on his wife with her and she said "I don't know I just really liked him". I asked her if she felt bad about being the other woman and she said "no". I asked her if she knew she was hurtiing his wife and she said "no" and I said "you know you were hurting his wife right?" And she said "no". I asked her if she felt bad and she said "no". I asked her why not and she said "I don't know I just really liked him". I asked her when did she find out he was married and she said "maybe a year after we met". I asked her if she stopped seeing him when she found out he was married and she said "no, we only got closer after that". I asked her why she kept seeing him even after she found out he was married and she said "I don't know I just really liked him". I asked her if his wife knows about their affair and she said "yes". I asked her how long after she found out he was married did she tell his wife and she said "2 years". I asked her if she felt bad when his wife called her a "home wrecker" and she said "yes". I asked her why she kept seeing him even after she told his wife about their affair and she said "I don't know I just really liked him". I asked her if his wife knows her and she said "yes". I asked her how long after we got married did she stop seeing him and she said "maybe 8 years after we met". I asked her why she stopped seeing him and she said "I don't know I just didn't really like him anymore". I asked her if she's been faithful ever since they stopped seeing each other and she said "yes". I asked her if she's still talking to him and she said "yes". I asked her what they talk about and she said "not really anything". I asked her if she's told him about us and she said "yes". I asked her if he knows we're married and she said "yes". I asked her don't you feel bad your married while he's cheating on his wife with other women and she said "no". I asked her if his wife knows we're married and she said "yes". I asked her if they're still married and she said "yes". I asked her if his wife knows she's married and she said "yes". I asked her why she didn't divorce his wife after she found out he was in love with her and she said "because he was married". I asked her why she didn't tell him to divorce his wife and she said "I don't know maybe I just really liked him". I asked her if she ever felt bad about being the other woman and she said "no". I asked her if she felt bad for his wife and she said "no". I asked her if she knows how many women he's had an affair with and she said "a lot". I asked her if she knows how many women he's in love with and she said "me, his wife, and another woman, maybe more.". I asked her if she knows who's the other woman and she said "yes". I asked her what the other woman looks like and she said "shes really really pretty and a lot prettier than me". I asked her how long has he been in love with her and she said "maybe as long as we were together". I asked her if theyre still together and she said "yes". I asked her if she's sickened by him and she said "no". I asked her why not and she said "I don't know". <br>I told her I need some time to figure some things out and I left for a hotel. I don't even know what to feel right now. I just feel sick to my stomach. I don't even know what to think. I'm just completely shocked right now. I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I feel like my world is crashing down around me and I can't do anything to stop it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I literally don't know what to do. I don't even know where to begin processing all of this information. I don't even know what to think or where to go from here. I just don't know what to do. I keep thinking about how we were together for three years before we got married and she was hooking up with another man the whole time. Then I think about how she lied to me about how long they stopped hooking up and I just feel so sick to my stomach. I feel so hurt and betrayed just knowing she was with another man while we were together. I literally just don't know what to do anymore. My whole life is just crashing down right now. I don't even know where to go from here. Does anyone know what I should do? I don't even know what to do anymore. Honestly I just don't even know anymore. I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I'm just went from thinking I had the perfect relationship to feeling like my relationship was built on lies and my wife is a complete random degenerate. I don't even know what to do, I'm just so hurt and betrayed. Honestly, I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me and I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I literally just don't even know anymore. I just don't even know what to do or where to go from here. I'm just so hurt and betrayed right now. I feel like I don't even know my wife anymore. I don't even know what she's capable of. I just don't even know anymore. I don't even know what to do. I don't even know where to go from here. I literally just dont even know what to do anymore honestly.