My son does not have a father just because you are his biological father.

My son was 3 years old when you met me. In the first year of being together you angled to be his dad. Brought him Valentine's day gifts, Made Easter baskets, Had a routine and a set bedtime for him when you were there. You knew that I was heart broken that he did not have a father. You knew I yearned for him to have a family with a father figure. As soon as you moved in as his step dad you stopped doing this. He had to adjust to living with a man and seeing his mom hurt. I spent countless nights comforting my son because he missed his dad. I showed up for him every time. I told him that even though he did not have a dad he had me and that I am all he needs. I struggled with the fact that you were 'hurt' that he did not automatically consider you his dad. I adjusted my parenting to make you feel better. I have put your feelings and your comfort over my sons. I regret that. <br><br>You are not my son's dad. You are his step dad. His bonus dad. His step father. However you want to be referred to you are not his father. I saw you are not his father when you scoffed at the idea of having another child. Something I had always wanted for MY SON. I did not want more children for you. I wanted another child for him. He has always asked for s sibling. Even before you came along! I know he has always wanted a sibling. I see you as not his father when you are grumpy and irritable with him. I see you not as his father when you dismiss him. I see you not as his father because you are not raising him. You do not go to his games. You do not help him with his homework. You have never helped him with a project. You make sure he has food and the internet but you have never been his father. You have never been there for my son. You do not ask about his day. You do not make sure he feels safe or happy. You are not his father. <br><br>I am his father. I am his mother. His dad. His everything. I have been his everything. I have been his father figure. I have been there for my child. I have made sure my son was safe and happy. I have always been there for him. I have always asked him about his day. I have always been there for him. And going forward I will make sure you are held accountable for being his step father. I will not adjust parenting to make you feel better. My son is on the cusp of turning 8. His life is his life and I will no longer let you influence what kind of father figure he has. You never were his father and you never will be.