My biggest regret as a poor person was spending money on other people

I want to preface this by saying I’m not poor anymore. I have a good career, savings, and “make it rain” money now, but I wasn’t always in this position. When I was poor, I PIVOTED HARD in my 20s. Before that, I grew up in “poverty mindset.” I grew up in what most people would call generational poverty. My parents worked their butts off and made good money for the area I lived in but still struggled to “get ahead.” I believe now that it was because of where they lived. It’s super expensive to be poor in a small town. I didn’t understand how wealthy people made it happen. I lived in a small town 300 miles away from the nearest city with other people who didn’t know. I know now that part of the poverty cycle is that people from small towns want to stay there. I understand why, it’s very peaceful, but that peace will set you back 10 years the second you want out. When I got out of high school, I got married. Things were very hard. My husband changed jobs and got a new one that paid well. I was doing well in college, and I felt like I could start living. I had no idea what was coming. We got evicted. One day. Out. No prior notices. No warning. Nothing. They just one day said we’re selling the house, and you have 30 days to get out. We were in an upstairs apartment. We “rented” the upstairs of a house. Not only did we not have a place to live, but we also didn’t have a place to go. We knew one other person in the whole town where we lived, and even that didn’t last for more than a day. We lived in his car. We lost everything. My husband got fired. My job ended. School was over. The laws in our state protect landlords, renters have no rights. After that happened, I knew I had to PIVOT. I cut everyone off. I didn’t allow anyone to borrow from us. I didn’t share with anyone. I didn’t help anyone out. I didn’t hang out with anyone. I didn’t socialize. I went to work, I went to class, and I came home and slept and repeated. The second my husband got a new job, and we had an apartment and money, I wanted to help everyone. I wanted to help those in need. I gave, and I gave, and I gave. I shared, I borrowed, and I loaned. I gave away everything I could. I let my cousin come to live with us. He didn’t pay rent. I let my sister come to live with us; she didn’t pay rent either. I helped out at every chance I got. I gave rides everywhere. I did jobs for people. I cooked for people. I helped out with money when someone’s car needed to be fixed. I helped out with groceries. I helped buy clothes for people. I loaned money I knew I wouldn’t get back. I bought gifts for people. I paid to take people out to eat. I volunteered. I donated. In exchange for all of that, I literally got nothing. No one helped me. I was stuck in poverty. The minute I made money, I spent it all on other people. All of it. Every last cent. And to this day, not ONE SINGLE PERSON I ever gave money to - even the people who I let live with me rent-free, has ever paid me back or even tried to. I realize now that I was in “poverty mindset” and I didn’t understand what people would do with my money. I gave money to people so they could get these big, shiny new things or go on these big, shiny new vacations. Things I couldn’t afford. I PIVOTED again. Fast forward to the recession, and I PIVOTED even harder. Now I don’t help anyone. I don’t lend money. I don’t buy gifts. I don’t donate. I don’t volunteer. I don’t share. I don’t give rides. I don’t help out. I lived in an RV for part of the recession. I lived with my mom for part of the recession. I lived in my car for part of the recession. I lived in a shelter for part of the recession. But I still never took help or money from anyone. It’s not worth it. I know now that the second someone needs money, they will come to me. Not because they want to, but because they know I will. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I neverbuy gifts. I never lend money. I never help people out. I do what I need to do. And you know what? I’m so much better off for it. My sister is living with her boyfriend and doing very well. My cousin is living with his mom and doing very well. I’m doing well. They don’t need me. I don’t need them. I don’t share, I don’t help, and I don’t give, and it’s honestly the best thing I could ever do for myself. If you want to help people, you should. That money will not come back to you. I’m not saying you should do what I did. I’m saying don’t put yourself on the back burner so you can make it rain on everyone else. I’m really enjoying the rain now, and I wouldn’t change it for anyone. EDIT: I am not judging people who help others. I understand how hard it is to be in poverty. I have “been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” This is simply a story of me getting out of the poverty cycle and how I did it. I was born into poverty. It was not something I had control over. I do now. I have lived in poverty my whole life, and I finally got out of it. This is my story. I hope it helps. Also, if you’re considering helping someone in need, please consider sharing a meal instead of giving money. People will always come to you for money, but most people won’t take “groceries” that way. Consider going to a local charity or church. They usually have food programs and need volunteers.

My biggest regret as a poor person was spending money on other people

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