I (38m) hurt my wife (34f) by telling her some other guy fucked her better than me.

EDIT #2 I haven’t responded to anyone yet because they all seem to be from troll accounts. If you feel the need to comment without reading the whole thread then find help. I’m going to slowly get back to people as I can. Thank you all for your support and hate.<br><br>EDIT i have stopped drinking, this morning was a rough one but as the day goes on I feel better.<br><br>I have been with my wife for almost 15 years. We met shortly after her ex broke up with her mid pregnancy. I adopted her child, we fell in love everything was great, we had our ups and downs but who doesn’t. <br><br>Well I was doing something for work and a porn poped up and stopped me from doing what I was doing. Well this one really turned me on and I thought about asking my wife if she would do it and then I thought again and thought she wouldn’t be into it. So I called a local escort and set something up. I just told my wife I was going to a friends house to watch the game. It went great and she was a great time, during one of the things we did I told her she was fucking me better than my wife fucks me. <br><br>Well here is the problem she was an escort for 6 months and she was also a full time student. After graduating she got a job at the hospital my wife works at as a nurse. She was the one I called when my wife couldn’t come to the phone she was the one to tell me my wife had a stroke. <br><br>She is just a secretary but my wife thinks she is her friend. She told her that I called her a whore 2 days ago because she looks like the whore I called 6 months ago. I tried to explain to my wife that it was actually me and not her that called the escort but she didn’t believe me and thought I called her a whore. <br><br>I tried to tell her again but she just kept telling me to get out of her sight. I went to the bar to drown myself in booze. Now I’m here asking for advice on how to tell her without breaking the rest of her heart. <br><br>what do I do now?