When I was 12 my dad broke my collarbone when he threw me across the room for being a “fat fuck” and now I’m returning all the beautiful Christmas presents my husband got me. Christmas will be an argument.

Title pretty much says it all. I had a fight with my husband over how I decorated the tree. I am not allowed to decorate the tree. I brought down a few ornaments to show off to my friends who are visiting for Christmas but he raised hell about it. He then said I’m not allowed to touch anything in our house because I’m “too big” and will “break it.”<br><br>I’ve never broken anything in my life except for a glass and I did that when I was drunk. The only thing he wants me to break is my “fat fucking back” so I can break out of my unhealthy lifestyle. <br><br>I know he thinks I’m fat, but it’s nothing compared to when I was 12 and my dad picked me up by the scruff and threw me into the wall for eating a slice of pizza. He called me many horrible things, and I broke my collarbone. <br><br>As an adult I realize my husband is abusive, but for a long time I thought that maybe I was just doing something wrong. After all, I broke my collarbone. Maybe I did break the ornament. Maybe I didn’t. Sometimes I doubt my memory of things. <br><br>I told my husband I wanted to leave him, and I’m going back to my “fat shit” parents house for Christmas. I know they won’t be any better, so I guess I’ll just be in a abusive home for the holidays. <br><br>My husband bought me a lot of very beautiful, very thoughtful gifts. I’m upset beyond belief that I have to throw out something so beautiful. He spent over a hundred dollars on each of them, so it hurts to part with it.<br><br>I’m not sure what to do because I have no money so I’m not sure where else to go, but I know I need to leave. I know I’m fat, and I know I’m not pretty, but I deserve to be treated with love and respect.