CMV: It is incredibly selfish to have children when you know you’re at risk for early onset dementia.

I have a friend who is in early stages of dementia and it’s clear her mother had symptoms in her 50’s. She has kids who are still young (5, 7, and 9) and is now going to leave them behind without a mom or a provider at a very critical time in their upbringing. It seems incredibly selfish to have children that you know you won’t be able to see through to adulthood and to give them a life of early parental loss.<br><br>Main counter points I want addressed:<br><br>1. how can you know for sure you’ll be affected early and how bad it will be? <br>2. how do people know what genes they carry?<br>3. what are the other options? Not having children? Not adopting?<br>4. is there a predetermined age by which we should make sure we die before the kids leave the house?<br><br>I don’t expect to change my view that getting early onset dementia is a great reason to reconsider having children but I’d love to hear other perspectives! And as always, to change my view you need to make me say I’ve changed it, and you need to write a 3 word comment that proves you did so.<br><br>EDIT: since so many people are bringing it up- I do think there’s a difference between getting cancer and getting dementia. One is a tragic death and the other is a crappy end of life. I don’t think people who’ve been dealt the cancer card should feel precluded from having children, though they should have that conversation.