Daughter told me about her divorce because she did not want to hear my "I told you so"

My daughter married this guy about two years ago, and her and I did not have the best relationship. <br><br>When she was growing up, I was always critical of her. I always expected her to be perfect, and she rarely met my expectations. I thought this was good parenting. My parents were the same with me. Now I realize that this probably messed with her self-esteem, and caused her to seek attention/validation elsewhere.<br><br>She got pregnant with her first child at 16, and the baby daddy left as soon as she told him that she was pregnant. I saw this as a perfect opportunity for me to be a better parent. But instead of being there for her and helping her with her baby, I continued to be critical, and judgmental. I saw her pregnancy/raising a child as another opportunity to criticize her on all the things she did wrong. I feel really bad about this now.<br><br>Fast forward a few years and all of a sudden she's telling me that she's going to marry this guy. I did not even know that she was in a relationship, and it just seemed like a bad idea. He's about 15 years older than her, and has a criminal background. It just felt to me like her solution to all of her problems was to just find some man that would provide for her.<br><br>I did everything in my power to convince her not to do this, and so did the rest of the family. But it did not work. They ended up getting married about two years ago. We cut all ties with her. We would not have obviously disowned her if she went through with the wedding, but there was no way in hell that we were going to attend it.<br><br>Last week she contacted me out of the blue. She said she wanted to meet up for coffee, and that she had some things to talk about. We met up, and she told me that she divorced this guy last week. She basically told me that she wanted me to hear it straight from her, so that I do not find out about it through social media. She was afraid that if she did not tell me, that I was going to say "I told you so", which is 100% true. I was really close to saying that, but I held myself back. Instead, I told her that I was sorry that this happened, and that I hoped she and her kids are OK.<br><br>She told me a lot happened during their marriage. She was beaten up multiple times. He cheated on her. She caught him doing drugs multiple times. He would not look for a job and wanted her to provide for him. There were many other things like these.<br><br>I felt bad that this happened, but at the same time it was exactly what I predicted would happen. But now that it actually happened, seeing her in such a terrible situation made me feel terrible as a parent. I should have seen this in her when she was growing up, and been more supportive of her. Even when she told me that she was going to marry this guy, I could have been more supportive of her, instead of trying to dictate what she should do with her life, which ultimately made her hate me.<br><br>I have been regretting this ever since she told me. This is something that no parent ever wants to go through. So now I play the what-if game.<br><br>What if I was more supportive when she was growing up? Would she not have gotten pregnant at 16? Would she not have married this guy?<br><br>What if I was more supportive when she told me that she was going to marry this guy? Would she have felt like she could have come to me when he started beating her up? Would she have felt like she could have come to me when he started doing drugs?<br><br>I know you can't change the past. But I can change the present. I want to be a better parent to my daughter. I want her to know that I love her, and I want her to feel comfortable coming to me about anything.<br><br>But for some reason, she seems to not be happy that I was happy that she divorced this guy. When I told her that I am so glad that she got out, she just looked at me with this weird stare. I do not know what to make of this, and I do not know how to make things better. I want to make things better.<br><br>How do I make her feel comfortable coming to me? How do I show her that I am a different person now, and that I am not going to be the same critical/judgmental person that I was before?