are you an incestee who now has a kid of your own?

I am. I have a son and I’ve been looking online for advice from other incest survivors who have children. I’d like to know if you feel like your own childhood experience has helped you to be a better parent and whether there’s anything you feel like you can share with this community about parenting as an incestee. <br><br><br>What do you do when your kid gets angry? <br>What do you do when your kid is being clingy? <br>What do you do when your kid is being defiant? <br>What do you do when your kid is having a meltdown? <br>How do you help your kid regulate their own emotions? <br><br><br>I have seen many parents get angry because their kid is upset. Or parents with their own emotional baggage being unstable and resentful and taking it out on their kids. I want to know how incestees as parents look after their own emotional responses to their children, who may also have been dealt a difficult hand in life. <br>What advice can you give your fellow incestees in terms of your personal parenting and how your own experience has made you a better person, thus, better able to care for your child? <br><br><br>What I have found as an incestee, as a mother, is that I am able to see my son as a separate being from myself, far more so than I am able to see myself as a separate person from the people around me (my family; I have pretty much cut ties with my dad but still have ties with my mother and siblings). <br>I feel able to be empathetic and to communicate empathetically with my son, far more so than I am able to be patient and empathetic with my own parents or my siblings. I am better able to offer my son validation and to be understanding of his emotions. I am able to be patient with him without sacrificing any of my own energyESA or sanity, or my own emotional response to his emotional state. I’m able to be empathetic and caring towards my son without getting angry or fed up with him. I’m able to be empathetic towards him even when he is angry or upset without taking it personally. I am able to understand that my son is an entirely separate being from myself, whereas I feel as though I am a part of everything around me. I’m able to see other people’s stuff as their own and not mine, in the case of my son. I’m able to see my son’s stuff as his own and not mine in a way that I’m not able to do with other people; even with my husband I still somehow tie his stuff to my own. <br>I’m not sure if this is common for incestees to be better able to separate themselves from their children in this way. <br>What are your experiences as parents? Do you feel like you have been able to separate your child’s stuff from your own? How do you feel like you have benefited your child by being an incest survivor yourself?