Shit Gun Owners Say

I'm a gun owner, and this is just a compilation of shit that I and others have said to one another. Feel free to add more. This isn't meant to be serious, I'm sure most of us know that it's fucking stupid to say this shit, but this shit does get said. Pay attention, as some of these points contradict each other. That's the point of this post.<br><br>* "Guns don't kill people, my cousin does."<br>* "Glocks are the best guns ever, don't @ me."<br>* "I've owned over 100 guns, but never felt the need to shoot any of them."<br>* "You can never have too many guns, don't be weird."<br>* "People who own more than 10 guns are weird."<br>* "I'm a single mom with 2 kids and I need an AR and x42 and a shotgun and 3 Glocks for protection."<br>* "I'm a single guy with no kids, a good job, and a big house, I only need one gun, but a really good one."<br>* "Glocks are for noobs, real guns have hammer and a safety."<br>* "Who needs a safety? I'm not a fucking idiot."<br>* "I've pointed my gun at someone before, but I didn't shoot. I'm a hero."<br>* "I would rather be tried by 12 guys with a good lawyer than carried by 6."<br>* "My edc is a Desert Eagle .50. Anything smaller is useless."<br>* "I'm not saying that we should ban butter, but we should ban butter because too many people are slipping and falling and breaking their hips."<br>* "Cops have to qualify with their guns once or twice a year. Civilians shouldn't be allowed to carry."<br>* "I've never shot my gun before, but I would definitely be comfortable enough to draw it in public and shoot someone."<br>* "You should let the cops handle it."<br>* "Cops are too busy to help me, so I'll just carry."<br>* "My AR15 is great for deer hunting, and it's honestly not political at all."<br>* "You guys have to stop making it political, it's just about guns."<br>* "All you need is a pistol and a rifle and a shotgun, everything else is overkill."<br>* "I don't need an AR, but I deserve to have 20 of them cause freedom."<br>* "I will happily have my tax dollars go to the U.S. Military, but not to healthcare or education or food for the poor."<br>* "I love the 2nd amendment, but the rest are optional."<br>* "You shouldn't be allowed to buy a gun if you're an alcoholic or a drug addict."<br>* "I was a former alcoholic and drug addict, so clearly I deserve to own many guns."<br>* "I don't need an AR to defend myself, but I do need 15 of them, and 8 handguns, and 2 shotguns, and a rocket launcher and 2 knives and being ex military with 100 years experience."<br>* "I'm not a gun nut, but I have 42 guns, 100,000 rounds of ammo, a huge bunker, and I have threatened to shoot people for coming on my property."<br>* "I don't like Trump, but he's really good on guns."<br>* "I don't care what they are, just make the bad ones go away."<br>* "I've never been unsafe with my gun, and if you're unsafe with your gun then you're doing it wrong."<br>* "All my friends and family have never been unsafe with their guns, so I don't need any further training."<br>* "I've been around guns my whole life, but I've never actually shot one."<br>* "I've carried a gun every day for 30 years, but never had to draw it, and that's a good thing."<br>* "My gun is like my penis. It's always there and I'd rather die than give it up, but I've never actually used it for its intended purpose, but still claim that it's vital to who I am as a person."<br>* "I don't have a problem with TERRORISM, I just have a problem with ISLAMIC TERRORISM."<br>* "I don't have a problem with ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. I just have a problem with MEXICANS crossing the border ILLEGALLY."<br>* "I don't have a problem with PREGNANT WOMEN, I just have a problem with them ABORTING their babies."<br>* "I love CHRIST, but I would shoot someone if they came into my CHURCH."<br>* "I love CHRIST, but would gladly send someone to their DEATH for walking in my CHURCH with a GUN."<br>* "I'm totally stable and sane enough to own many many guns, and if you think otherwise then you're the one who's crazy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go drink and mope in my room full of guns."<br>* "I'm not a sleazeball, and nothing about owning a gun makes me feel any better as a person."<br>* "I'm not compensating for anything with my gun."<br>* "I don't care about your skin color or nationality or culture or background, everyone is treated fairly, unless you're a Democrat, or Mexican, or Black, or Muslim, or an Immigrant, or Trans."<br>* "The second amendment isn't about individual gun ownership, you're just a fucking idiot moron if you think that it is."<br>* "The second amendment is totally about individual gun ownership, obviously. You guys are just too fucking stupid to read and comprehend, or you're just not true Americans."<br>* "I'm not a racist, but all the mass shooters have been Democrats."<br>* "I'm not a racist, but all the mass shooters have been Republicans."<br>* "I'm not a sexist, but all the mass shooters have been men, so we should just ban men from owning guns."<br>* "I'm not a sexist, but all the mass shooters have been men, and the majority of guns are owned by men, and 99% of all shooters are men, but we should just let men keep on owning guns because reasons and stuff."<br>* "I'm not a sexist, but all the mass shooters have been women, and the majority of guns are owned by women, and 99% of all shooters are women, and women are the majority of the population, so we should just disarm and castrate every single woman because logic and facts and stuff."<br>* "I don't really know much about guns, but I do know that they're not going away, so we might as well just allow everyone to have as many as they want."<br>* "I don't really know much about healthcare, but I do know that it's not going away, so we might as well just give everyone FREE healthcare and make it illegal to ever be sick or poor or hungry ever again."<br>* "I know that you think you have a right to healthcare, food, water, shelter, clothing, education, and employment, but you don't have those rights because I said so, and even if you did, I'd still rather have all my tax dollars go to the military so we can bomb more countries than help our poor and hungry and homeless."<br>* "All I care about is helping other people, so that's why I need 42 guns, 8 knives, a huge bunker, and an AK-47."<br>* "I've never ever threatened to shoot anyone, and I've never pointed a gun at anyone, but I do own 30 guns and enough ammo to kill everyone in the country twice over."<br>* "I'm an exArmy Marine Sniper Navy Seal, and I know way more about guns than you do."<br>* "I'm in the US Air Force Army Navy Marines, but I still get to own guns?"<br>* "I enlisted in the Air Force Army Navy Marines to get free training with guns."<br>* "I'm glad the Navy Army Air Force Marines exists to protect us all from threats abroad."<br>* "If you're going to own a gun, you should at least have some basic training, and know how to maintain it, and know how to use it properly."<br>* "I've been to multiple gun ranges, but have never actually shot a gun before, but I do have a CC permit."<br>* "I'm in the national guard, and I've never been deployed, and I don't really know much about guns, but I'm glad that I'm allowed to own a couple."<br>* "When someone says, 'there are a lot of gun owners, so there's no reason to take away our guns,' they're actually saying, 'I'm too lazy to go outside, so I'll just stay on my couch and watch Netflix forever.'"<br><br>Edit: This post was 90% upvoted on r/gunpolitics with 350 comments. <br><br>Edit: This post was 92% upvoted on r/offmychest with 1200 comments.