My bf has major anxiety and I think he’s on the wrong meds because I can’t help him with his attacks anymore

I (29F) met this guy (33M) online last year and we fell in love quite fast. He’s by far the best guy I’ve ever met and I’ve never been able to connect with someone like I do with him. He has major anxiety due to something that happened in his childhood and on a good day it’s completely manageable. I can look after him and help him feel better but it’s just gotten worse in the last few months.<br><br>I’ve tried convincing him to get help but he says he’s tried almost everything and nothing worked. I understand because I have borderline personality disorder and I’m in therapy but it’s obviously not helping him. I tried everything in my power to help him feel more comfortable and secure but I’ve come to the realization that I can’t help him and it kills me.<br><br>Yesterday was a turning point for me. We went to visit my family for my birthday and he had a panic attack in the car. I was driving and couldn’t do anything to help him and it really made me realise how bad it is. I keep having flashbacks of him screaming in the car and I can’t get it out of my head. It was so distressing and I feel so guilty for not being able to help him.<br><br>I really don’t even know what to do. He’s the love of my life and I don’t want to leave him but it’s affecting my mental health too and it’s just getting to a point where I don’t know how to help.<br><br>EDIT: he takes medication but it doesn’t seem to work. He’s tried multiple therapists but none of them have been helpful. I suggested maybe seeing a psychologist again but he doesn’t want to because he says it’ll be the same as therapy.