AITA for calling my husband a jerk for telling a blind date I was “the carpool mom”.

Mac is in the Army. He left a year ago for basic training and just came back for a month. I thought it was a great opportunity to get him matched up with a girl, thanks to how attractive he is. He was not into it and for a reason I did not know.<br><br>I did it anyway and matched him with a smart girl. He was angry and told me it was rude and he didn’t want to go. He said he was sick of being treated like a commodity. I figured he would get over it since it was only for a night. And if it worked out, that would be great!<br><br>Things went badly. When I picked them up, Mac was furious to see me in the car. He started yelling at me in the car that I was treating him like a little kid. I stopped the car and said “how can you treat me like this? I’m your mother you need to show respect.” He didn’t answer, just flung open the car door and got into another car and left.<br><br>The girl stayed behind and she was really quiet. I asked her if she wanted to go for ice cream and she said yes. I asked her if things had gone wrong in the first minutes of their dating. She said “no, but it was weird. I asked him what he liked in high school. He said track and football and I said cool and he said ‘don’t you think I’m cute?’ I said ‘oh I thought we were talking about high school.’ It was a weird moment but then he left and said ‘figured it out, I’m over here.’ I thought he was being sarcastic and walked over and then he started talking about high school again. I didn’t think it was a big deal but then he started getting upset out of nowhere and left.” I said “Mac doesn’t like talking about high school because of the bullying.” She said “I didn’t even bring it up!” I said “no, no, I’m just explaining.”<br><br>We drove for a minute in silence and then she said “I’m pretty sure he’s not gay, but he said ‘figured it out’ and looked at me in this weird way, like he was flirting with me.” I said “he’s gay?” And she said “no, he’s not.” I said “oh I see what you mean.” She said “yeah” and I said “well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” We both had a silent moment and I asked her “is it frustrating to be like that?” She said “yeah, I’m bisexual and I don’t like being treated like I’m gay. It’s offensive and I don’t like it like you wouldn’t like it if someone mistook you as gay.” I said “I know what you mean.”<br><br>Then I asked “is it offensive to call gay people gay, or is that wrong?” And she said “no, it’s not offensive to call gay people gay.” I said “Mac is gay?” And she said “I think so.” I said “I had no idea!” And she said “me neither until now.” I laughed and said “wow you tricked me!”<br><br>She was silent again and said “I think that’s why he got mad. Is it a problem that he’s gay?” I said “no, I’m just surprised because I didn’t know.” She said “he’s not used to people knowing how attractive he is, is he?” I said “what do you mean?” And she said “a lot of boys aren’t that hot until they’re 25 or something and I bet he’s very cute.” I said “oh yeah he looks like Channing Tatum.” She said “I can’t imagine.” I said “he’s really cute” and she said “yeah he’s cute.”<br><br>I asked her again if it was offensive to call gay people gay, because sometimes I hear that the “g” word is a derogatory term. And she said “gay is not a derogatory term but the g word is and they mean the same thing.” I said “oh I see so gay is ok?” And she said “yes gay is ok.” I was starting to get annoyed at the conversation because I wanted to get back to Mac but she kept talking about gay people.<br><br>I said “I didn’t know he was gay. I thought I was setting him up with you?” And she said “I’m bisexual. I’m gay and straight.” I said “oh” and she said “yeah.” I said “do you think that’s why he was angry?” And she said “yes. He’s probably gay or heard I was gay and was angry.” I said “why would he be angry?” And she said “because he’s gay and I’m bisexual.”<br><br>I said “wait, you’re gay? I didn’t know that.” And she said “I’m bi, I’m gay and straight.” I said “oh I see” and she said “yeah.” Then I said “do you think there’s something wrong with him since he’s gay?” And she said “no, what do you mean?” But I said “nothing” because she was already getting mad at me and I didn’t want to make it worse.<br><br>I asked her if she wanted to go home and she said yes. When I dropped her off she said “I’m sorry your son is a jerk” and I said “what? He’s not a jerk!” And she said “he’s a jerk for not taking me on the date. He was supposed to take me to the movies and instead he got mad at you for giving him a carpool ride.” I said “I didn’t give him a carpool ride, that’s why I’m his mom.” But I saw what she meant.<br><br>When I got home my husband was angry too. He said “you’re treating him like a little kid and he gets upset. He told you he didn’t want to go on a date and you went ahead with it anyway?” I said “no, it’s not that. He was angry at me. And he was rude to the girl and called her a jerk.” He said “she’s not a jerk. Mac was very nice to her but he got upset when he thought you were treating him like a kid. He’s an adult now, he’s a man. He went to war and you’re still treating him like a kid who needs carpool rides.” I said “I’m just trying to help him” and he said “you’re not helping, you’re hurting. You’re hurting because you’re treating him like a baby and it makes him angry.”<br><br>AITA for calling my son a jerk for not going on his date and calling a girl a jerk for not going on a date with him?<br><br>Edit: To be clear my son left before the girl and I got ice cream. We didn’t get ice cream with him there!