My husband cheated on me and he says "I'm not going to apologize for it"

My husband and i have been married for 6 years and were together for about 8 years total. Things were pretty rocky in the beginning of our relationship, but we worked through things and for most of the past 8 years things seemed fine.<br><br>However, about 8 months ago my husband cheated on me. I was in total shock, I didn't see any signs, I just happened to look over at him when he was texting and I saw his entire conversation with the other woman.<br><br>I freaked out at him and he freaked out back at me, he seemed to get more upset at me for seeing his messages than the fact that I caught him cheating. We went to couples counseling, I forgave him, and we moved on.<br><br>But now that the holidays are here and the year is ending, I want to do something in our house that signifies "new beginnings" to both me and my husband, so I wanted to sit down with him and talk this out.<br><br>I sat down with him, I didn't blame him for anything, I explained that I wanted us to move forward and I wanted to let him know a few things I wish he did after he cheated.<br><br>I told him that I wish he would have apologized. I wish he would have told me why he did it, and I wish he would have made an effort to repair things and make me feel comfortable in the relationship. We went to therapy, but he never apologized to me for cheating.<br><br>He hasn't said much on the topic except saying that the reason he cheated was because he felt like I "gave up on the relationship". He says that I stopped making an effort and I was just doing the "bare minimum" for about a year. He told me that I never made an effort to look cute for him, I didn't initiate sex, I was spending a lot of time with friends and he felt like he didn't matter. He told me that after he cheated he realized how stupid it was and how much he really loves me, but he refuses to apologize for it.<br><br>He told me that he refuses to apologize for something that he feels like I caused. He said that he's not going to tell me that he was in the wrong when he feels like he was in the right.<br><br>That this is a "non-negotiable" for him and he's not going to apologize no matter what.<br><br>I understand that he feels like he was in the right, but to me it feels like he doesn't care that he hurt me. It feels like he doesn't care if I forgive him or not.<br><br>I don't even know what to do at this point, I'm still in shock that he put this on me and blames me for the cheating.<br><br>Am I in the wrong for thinking that he owes me an apology?