I feel so complacent and free not having to take care of a baby

I spent two years of my life off and on fostering a 6 year old girl. I was planning to adopt her and after I had her for a year she went back to her mom. <br><br>Her mother did everything she could to get her back and I was so proud of her for getting her life back on track and I’m forever connected to this little girl. <br><br>I switched up my life this year. I moved to a new state and started hanging out with new people. I went to a dinner and a woman was there with her 6 week old baby. She had to go get him when he cried and was so stressed about him not eating. I remember those days with my foster. <br><br>I don’t think she even got to eat because she was so busy. I was really happy I don’t have to go through that. I was able to eat and go. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else. It was so much less stress. <br><br>I think I have become childfree this year. I never wanted to be a single mom but I did want to experience being a mom. It’s really impacting my relationships. I don’t really have much in common with parents. They barely get out because most of their time is spent with their kids. <br><br>I’ve been doing a lot of things I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t with a foster kid. Camping, and hiking. I just went to see the band Modest Mouse and I just looked at my ex and said “remember when we were stuck inside with [foster] at all times”. He laughed. <br><br>It’s not that I don’t miss her it just that I’m so happy I have my freedom and I wish I didn’t have a foster or bio kid back in the day.