I don't love you anymore

I've been with her since high school. Dated her through college, proposed after graduation, married her a year later. Our anniversary is next week and I was trying to come up with something nice to write for a card, and I couldn't do it. I sat at my desk with a pen in my hand and just drew a fucking circle for 10 minutes until I just wrote "happy anniversary" and put it in the envelope.<br><br>I don't love you anymore. I hate the way you sneeze like a mouse. I hate how you step out of the shower, put your phone up to your ear and then realize you don't have your glasses on and squint at it. I hate how you say "oh my god, seriously?" when I do something you don't like but you don't say what that thing is.<br><br>I hate how you eat your peas. I hate how you snore. I hate your hair.<br><br>I hate the way you talk about me to your friends, like your the poor abused victim and I bullied you into marrying me. I hate how you pretend we have a child together when we don't. I hate how you talk like we're happily married when we're not. I hate your stupid job and your stupid boss and your stupid cut and dried coworkers. I hate how you talk about sex in the same tone that you talk about the weather.<br><br>I hate how you never learned to make a sandwich and how you still ask, "okay, what's the bare minimum I need to do to get this out the door?" I hate how you never learned to change a tire and how you call AAA even though you have roadside assistance through Geico. I hate how you call your father for advice every time something bad happens but you never just come up with your own solution.<br><br>I hate your father and I hate your friends and I hate your stupid fucking voice when it's the only thing I hear. I hate how you hum when you're doing chores. I hate the theme song you hum when you're doing chores. I hate your garden and I hate how you always say "fall" instead of "autumn." I hate how you spell "Winter" with a lowercase W in your class notes. I hate how you write your i's like a 4-year-old.<br><br>I hate how you pronounce the word "sauce." I hate how the sauce from your pasta always gets on your thumb and you never wash it off. I hate how you never learned to play an instrument. I hate how you always say you're going to cook dinner but then you just go out and buy it already cooked. I hate how you don't like cooked fruit. I hate how you always put ketchup on your eggs but then complain when you get ketchup on your shirt.<br><br>I hate your belt. I hate your shirts. I hate how you call your coworker "sir" even though he's younger than you. I hate how you call your boss "ma'am" even though everyone talks shit on her behind her back. I hate how you always put your phone on silent mode and vibrate and then you still manage to miss every call you get. I hate how the only two albums you've bought since we got married are by OneRepublic. I hate how you still use your maiden name. I hate how you still keep your ex-boyfriend's last name on your Facebook account.<br><br>I hate that your legs don't go all the way up to your waist. I hate how your knees are fat but the rest of your legs are thin and your calves are shaped like a "C." I hate how you always use the word "hate" for something you just dislike. I hate how you saw "incredibles 2" eight times in the theater. I hate how you say "god damn" as a synonym for "funny." I hate how your dad's name is Brian and how his face looks like a bloated corpse from a shakespearean play. I hate how your mom is so nice but her cooking is so bad. I hate how you talk about how your mom's cooking is so bad.<br><br>I hate your smile. I hate your teeth for not being perfectly aligned. I hate your nose for breathing. I hate your lips for being pursed like that all the time. I hate your hair, oh god I hate your hair. I hate your eyes for not being blue. I hate how you always bring up "blue eyes" because you think I like them. I hate how you think I like anything about you anymore. I hate how you're okay with that. I hate how you pretend you're okay with that. I hate how you think I still love you. I hate that I still love you.<br><br>Happy anniversary, honey, see you at dinner.<br><br>Edit: I walked in the door, handed her the card, and she loved the message. She teared up, hugged me, and put the card on the fridge. Why does life fucking suck so bad