A year ago I moved to a new city because I was so damn lonely and never had a date in my life. I was hoping it would automatically fix the problem. It didn't.

I'm back to square one. I thought my life was going to get better because I moved to a big city. I actually thought that all I needed was to change my environment in order to magically get a girlfriend. I only had one friend back in my city, and the only girls I had ever spoken to in my life were my two cousins (male cousins wife, and one of my half-sister's friends when I was 14). Looksmaxxing was out of question but I was just so desperate to have someone to talk to. <br><br>I went to a few parties and met a few people I thought I could hang out with, but nothing was happening. I was still just as lonely, I was just hanging out alone in a big city. It wasn't a big improvement. I stopped going to the gym and just let myself go. Then I thought maybe it's because I'm not putting myself out there enough. Maybe I need to work on that and stop seeing the world as a very cruel place, and just start talking to people. <br><br>So I started going to the gym again. I'm looking better than I did in years. Working out, in the morning yoga in the evening, took a few courses to learn new things, joined clubs related to my hobbies. Met a bunch of new people, made some friends, and guess what, NOTHING happened. <br><br>Every friend I made is better looking than me, and they also happen to be extroverted. I just can't win against them. I'm just a background character nobody pays attention to. I'm considered "shy" and "quiet". I already knew that but now I know how meaningless those things are if you're ugly. I was always shy, so what? I still don't have a partner, I'm still lonely. <br><br>I've been rejected once, but let's be real, it was a strange situation. I was talking to someone while drunk and my lack of confidence just got the worse of me. I don't really blame myself for it, I already knew it was not going to end well. I'm much more bitter about not having even a single chance. I don't know, maybe I was wrong to think things would get better, but I'm just so angry at myself for always thinking there's an easy way out. I think about how pathetic I am whenever I'm alone and it eats me alive.<br><br>I even just want to be able to talk to someone, not even date. A strange thing happened to me yesterday. A friend of a friend, a girl, a total stranger just texted me out of nowhere because she thought I was someone else and wanted to talk about that other guy. I was so damn excited, I thought "WOW, maybe this is my chance". I started thinking about all the possible ways this could lead to me finally having a partner, but none of them happened. She had no interest in me. She didn't ask me anything about myself, she didn't even ask my name and we chatted for almost an hour. She didn't even want me to know her name after that. It was such a stupid interaction, it made me really sad.