Am I over-reacting that I don't want a male student in the bathroom with me, especially if he has threatened to kill a teacher?

Borrowing from something I posted in AITA - I was told to make my post more specific to teaching. I'm not sure if I'm just being irrationally paranoid or no, but I want to get some opinions.<br><br>I teach special ed at the high school level. We have an SC (severely cognitively impaired) class for several of our students who can't be integrated in the general ed population. One of our students is a young man - we'll call him Mark. He has a traumatic brain injury from a car accident, and a diagnosis of conduct disorder. He was a biter, hitter, kicker, etc when he first entered our district. Last year he did threaten to kill one of our paras (who is a big former football player with long hair and a beard - our students call him Jesus).<br><br>Mark does get angry and throw chairs and tables, but he has not been physically violent towards staff in a while, unless you count spitting. We do have to give him a room to decompress in, and someone has to supervise him.<br><br>Our school is in the middle of a major building project. They are renovating our wing of the building first, and all of the special ed students have been moved to portables. Our bathrooms are not renovated, and the plumbing is bad. Half of the time, only one of the two stalls is usable. We sent a work order to make the plumbing better, but this hasn't happened yet. The bathrooms are very small, and if a student and staff member is in the stall, you can't get in there with them.<br><br>We had an issue last week where Mark had an accident, and we discovered that he was poisoning himself with his own feces. We are starting to suspect that Mark has feces smeared on him at other times, but he will not allow a staff member in the handicapped stall with him to clean him. Our principal said that he needs to be cleaned in the bathroom, not in class, as that is where you clean yourself after using the toilet.<br><br>Our paras are all men, and there are not enough female staff to sit in the bathroom while he is cleaning himself. I was approached by our principal and director of spec ed if I would be willing to sit in the handicapped stall with Mark while he cleans himself after an accident. I was kind of taken aback - I don't sit in the stall with any of our students, even the girls, but god forbid if I don't sit in the stall with Mark.<br><br>I don't feel comfortable sitting in the stall with Mark.<br><br>I don't feel comfortable leaving Mark in the bathroom alone.<br><br>If Mark is in the bathroom alone and raises a stink, I will get blamed for not being in there with him.<br><br>I don't want to pull a para out of class so that they can sit in the stall with Mark. <br><br>I don't want Mark to throw a tantrum in the class because he wants me to sit in the stall with him and I won't.<br><br>I don't want to sit in the stall while Mark is in there - he has threatened to kill a staff member before.<br><br>I told my principal and director that I am not comfortable sitting in the stall with Mark. They said they understood. I think they are going to approach other female staff members to see if they will sit in the stall with Mark.<br><br>I don't know if I should bring this up at the next IEP meeting. I don't know if I should bring up the fact that I don't want to sit in the stall with Mark. If I bring it up at the IEP meeting, I can imagine the parents getting mad at me. If I don't bring it up, I think that the principal and director are going to push to have someone sit in the stall with him.<br><br>AITA for not wanting to sit in the bathroom with a student who threatens teachers?<br><br>EDIT - I did not say that Mark WAS poisoning himself. I said we were starting to SUSPECT that he had done this before. I am not sure why people think that we left him sitting in his filth, or that we deliberately keep him sitting in his filth. We change him on the toilets in the nurse's office, or at his desk, depending on how he reacts to staff trying to approach him. If he is calm and helps us clean him, we will do this on the toilet in the nurse's office. If he fights us and hits us, we do this at his desk in the classroom.<br><br>I can't force Mark to allow me in the stall to help him if he chooses not to. A lot of times, he doesn't want help cleaning himself because he knows that we are going to take his phone away. I have had other students who didn't want help from staff unless they were in pain and needed medication, but Mark is not like that.<br><br>I have no idea if Mark was physically or sexually abused. His mom says that he wasn't, but she admitted that his dad was an alcoholic and that there were issues of domestic violence that made Mark and his siblings homeless. I think it would make sense if Mark was physically abused and not sexually abused - his behavior is more along the lines of a physically abused child. I don't think that he was sexually abused, but this would explain why he doesn't want a woman in the stall with him.<br><br>I would reach out to other teachers about this, but honestly, I don't know if I can trust them. I have been burned before by staff who are friends with the principal and will throw you under the bus to protect the principal.