My husband told me he wished I had miscarried our baby because "he was a mistake"

Our son is 2 years old now and my husband is a good father. He took care of him when I couldn't (I had severe PPD), he changed diapers and feeds him and takes him to school. He's a great dad, very loving. He is romantic and takes care of me too - I love him more than anything.<br><br>But when I was pregnant with our baby, we had a fight. I was so sick and tired and crying all the time, my emotions were everywhere. I remember that he wanted to eat pizza but I didn't want to. I told him I didn't feel like taking him to the store to get pizza. He said "I'm sick of doing everything I ask you to do, you're just laying around and being useless now that you're pregnant." <br><br>I remember I felt so hurt by his words, I was sick and I felt useless not because I didn't want to help, but because I was trying my best even though my body was failing me. I cried and said something like "You didn't even want this baby, you hate that I'm pregnant, I feel like you hate me..."<br><br>But then he was quiet for a moment and he said "I wish you had miscarried so that we didn't have to deal with this stupid mistake."<br><br>I remember that sentence cutting deep, it hurt me so much I cried even more and he was shocked because he didn't mean it. He apologized and said that it was just a bad day and he was stressed and he loves our baby.<br><br>But I don't know. Even when he hugged and kissed me when our baby was born, I couldn't shake that feeling that he wished our baby had died. It hurt and I felt like our baby was a mistake, like our baby didn't deserve to live even though he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.<br><br>I know my husband is happy to have our baby and he loves him. But that hurt me and I don't know how to heal from it.