My (36M) wife (34F) has said she wants to end the marriage for the last 9 years. How can I understand her perspective?

9 years ago, my wife said she wanted to end the marriage when our son was 6 months old. I begged her to stay and said we should go to therapy. She agreed and after several months of therapy, she said she changed her mind. <br><br>In the years that followed, she would repeat “I want to leave this marriage but the time isn’t right yet” when we had arguments. Each time, we would go to therapy but nothing seemed to change. <br><br>She always seemed unhappy and dissatisfied with life. She has gone from the bubbly, energetic person I met to someone who is apathetic and seems to go through the motions. I’ve tried everything I can to help her but nothing seems to work. <br><br>I was surprised when she said she wanted to have another child. I finally felt like she was coming around to the marriage. The first year with a newborn and toddler was tough but we made it work. When our youngest was six months old, my wife said she wanted to end the marriage again. <br><br>I’m tired of hearing her say she wants to leave. I’m tired of wasting my money on therapy that doesn’t work. I’m tired of my children having an unhappy mother. I’m tired of feeling like I’m walking on eggshells around her because I don’t know what will make her angry this time. <br><br>How can I get my wife to see my perspective? What can I say that will make her understand? <br><br>tl;dr My wife wants to end our marriage but I don’t want to lose my family. How can I change her mind?