Covid19 has made me realize how much I fucking hate my wife.

EDIT: Wow, this blew up. Thank you for the support and awards, folks. I am going to just put this out there. Some people were confused as to why my wife didn't help around the house when she was a SAHM. Well, she doesn't do a fucking thing even when she has a job. I guess you can say I'm condoning her by accepting this. Maybe I am. <br><br>I ended up talking to her yesterday. I showed her this thread. She was livid. I was expecting her to get angry, but almost 90% of the comments were spot on. It was a good ass kicking (not literally, but you get the idea). So we had a long discussion. I told her the type of mother I had growing up and how it affected me, and how much having a family of my own meant to me, and how that dream was squashed when she didn't turn out to be the mother and wife I thought she'd be. I told her I wasn't happy and haven't been for a long time. I've accepted that and I dealt with it by throwing myself into my work, and now my kid. I told her when I was stuck at home all day with her and the kids, I realized I don't like her very much. I don't like anything about her. I don't like how she keeps her body or her face. I don't like how she sounds or smells. I don't like any of her hobbies. I don't like her attitude or how she doesn't try to be better. I laid it all out. <br><br>She was heartbroken. I felt simultaneously relieved and guilty. She asked what she needs to do. I told her the bare minimum, in my opinion, for her to change my mind. It's not a lot, but she has to actually do it. <br><br>A lot of people suggested counseling. I suggested it too, but she fucking hate the idea of therapy. I hope she has a change of heart. I'm going to push for it, but idk. <br><br>Thank you again folks. I appreciate all the advice, the awards, the PMs, everything. This was a great experience. I may update someday if anyone is interested, but no guarantees. <br><br>_______________<br><br>**On Mobile**<br><br>I can't put my finger on exactly why. She hasn't done anything recently that's made me sit here and type this out. <br><br>Maybe it's because I've been "stuck" at home with her and the kids. Maybe it's because I was forced to think about my "family" and realize they aren't the family I want. I'm not the husband I should be, and she isn't the wife I want. I'm scarcely home, so I never really had to deal with her directly for more than a couple days at a time. I've been strictly dealing with her for the past month. No 8 hour days to give me a mental and visual break. <br><br>I fucking hate her. I hate how lazy she is. I hate how no matter how many times I've asked, begged, and plead that she clean up after herself and the kids, she will only do so begrudgingly. Only when I get angry. She'll turn that anger on me and accuse me of treating her like a child. Oh my fucking god, I would love to treat her like a child. For her to be my responsibility, not the other way around. I want her to be innocent and naive so I can shape her into the woman I want her to be. But I'm stuck with her 35 year old ass as she is. <br><br>Instead, I get a wife who constantly complains about how tired she is. Who constantly complains about how stressed she is. Who constantly complains about how her life is so hard. Yet somehow she manages to play video games for 10 hours a day. Somehow manages to watch all these shows she talks about. Somehow she manages to take a fucking nap when her kid is at school! Yet she can't clean up after herself. Can't clean the house. Won't touch the dishes. Can't cook a goddamn thing. Won't even try. <br><br>Oh, and the reason why I can't either is because I'm a "money-maker". That's it. It's my job to provide, because otherwise, she wouldn't provide for our family. In fact, she'll barely take care of the bare minimum. Our kid will barely be fed. Our house will barely be livable. <br><br>I hate that I've had to take care of this child on my own. I've essentially been a SAHD the last month, while she does jack shit but play video games with her friends. <br><br>I hate the way she looks. I hate the way she keeps her body. I hate how out of shape she lets herself be. I hate how fat she's gotten. <br><br>I fucking hate having to touch her or look at her. I hate how she smells. I hate how she keeps her face. I hate her goddamn voice. <br><br>FUCK. I fucking hate her with a burning passion. I want her gone. I want to divorce her so fucking badly. I want her out of my house and out of my life. I want her to rot. I want her to experience what it is like to be on her own. To not have someone else take care of her. I hate having to take care of her. She's fucking worse than the kid, and she's fucking worse than my coworkers.<br><br>Speaking of, I fucking hate the fact that I'm stuck to her because of our kid. Our kid we BOTH wanted. I fucking hate her guts. I hate that she's the mother of my kid. She doesn't even take care of the kid. I've been taking care of my own kid while also taking care of her. <br><br>She's fucking useless. I fucking hate her. I hate her so much. I don't even know what to do. I hate how I've been stuck inside, dealing with her non-stop. I'm fucking glad I get to go back to work. I fucking hate this stay at home shit. <br><br>What do I fucking do? I fucking hate this bitch. Absolutely hate her. I don't even know what to do. I fucking hate her.