My husband gave a woman a kiss on the cheek that wasn’t me

We’ve been married for 13 years. We have kids and we’re — overall — very happy. This morning, I dropped off some paperwork for my husband to give to his boss (he works in a restaurant) and my mother in law was there (she’s the owner) There was a woman there also — about my age — with her little baby girl. I tried to be friendly and asked questions about the baby, etc. My mother in law mentioned that this was the child of one of my husband’s best friend’s from HS. I was a little surprised because I didn’t see them as being close. There are many pictures of them on his Facebook page and you can tell they were once very close. Anyway, they all reminisced about the best friend/roommate and all the good times that they had. I knew he’d always been pretty popular so I was fine with it. Then the friend left and my husband came over and said good bye to her. He put his hand on her waist, kissed her once on the lips and once on the cheek and told her they’d “catch up soon.” He’s never kissed me on the cheek. The last time that he kissed me on the lips was when we renewed our vows. I kind of hung back so I could get more information. His mom was gushing about how — “it’s been years!” “Wow! They’ve been friends forever!” And this is the first time that they’ve been in the same room for almost 13 years. My husband then said that he’d seen — not friend, but friend’s husband, last year at another restsurant that he owns. I was confused and said, “So you’ve seen him last year? But not seen her since college?” My husband answered, “No. She wasn’t with him. It was weird. We haven’t been in touch since college. But I saw him with a group of people last year and we said a quick hello.” Then my husband said, “Yeah. It’s been so crazy. I haven’t seen Becca since our wedding. We had problems after college. But we’re all good now.” I waited until we were alone and I asked, “Well — why didn’t you invite her to the wedding?” He said, “I did. She didn’t come.” I asked, “Is that when you lost touch? We got married 13 years ago and I’ve never heard you mention her. What issues did you guys have?” My husband answered, “Yeah. I don’t know. We just grew apart. We had problems. It’s hard to explain.” I asked, “Is she the only friend that you guys lost touch with? Why was she special?” He was quiet and then he said, “She’s not special. It’s just that some people grow apart and others stay together. I have my core friends that I still talk to from HS and College. Some people you lose touch with. That’s just the way it is.” I asked, “Is she on your Facebook?” He said, “Yeah. No. Wait. I don’t know.” I asked, “Is your friend (her husband) on your Facebook?” He said, “Maybe. Yeah. I don’t know.” I asked, “Is there a reason why you didn’t explain to me that you hadn’t seen her for 13 years? Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me that she was invited to our wedding? Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me that she didn’t come?” He said, “No. It’s just that there was no reason why I would tell you that she’s a friend that I lost touch with. It’s not weird. It’s not — everyone loses friends. We’re not all going to be friends forever. Life gets in the way.” I asked again, “But why didn’t you tell me that you hadn’t seen her in so long?” He said, “I told you — it’s not important. She asked if we could go to lunch. I didn’t want to tell you because you’d think that I was having an affair. You always complain that we don’t go to lunch or spend enough time with each other. But when I spend time with other people you’re jealous. So I didn’t tell you and I didn’t want to lie to you. But I thought that it would be nice if I could still be friends with her. That’s all.” I asked, “But I don’t remember you ever mentioning her. Is she a friend from HS or college?” He answered, “College!” I asked, “Really? So that means that you guys were friends for a year and then lost touch for 13 years??” My husband said, “No! It’s not like that. Good grief. You can’t stop being jealous for one second. I went to lunch with her! I’m not in love with her. You don’t have to fight so hard for me.” I asked, “Why wasn’t she in our wedding?” He said, “She wasn’t in it because we weren’t in touch. But we’re going to be in touch now.” I asked, “Did you sleep with her in college?” He said, “No. But I wanted to. I thought that you knew. But we can stop talking about her now. I’m not going to answer any more questions.” This has bothered me so much. I have been going over it in my head for over two weeks. That kiss on the cheek really did it for me. I don’t know why. I’ve kissed men on the cheek and I’ve had men kiss me on the cheek before. But maybe it’s that he’s never kissed me that way. Maybe it’s that he was popular in HS and College and I wasn’t. Even though I went to the same college. I didn’t know they were friends. He’s never mentioned her name to me. I’ve seen pictures of her on his Facebook page but I didn’t know her name. He says that he wanted to sleep with her but never did. Why wouldn’t he invite a friend from college to our wedding? He didn’t answer any of my questions. I feel like he’s still in love with her. I don’t know what to do. I — seriously — don’t know if I can take this. My husband doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love me. I’m not his first choice and I never have been. He told me to stop being so jealous and said that, “You don’t have to fight so hard for me.” Because he’s not in love with me. For 13 years, I’ve given him my everything. I’ve given him a life; a home; a family; children. And he doesn’t love me. I know that I won’t leave him. I have small kids. I don’t want to leave them. But I want him to know that I’m hurt. I want to hurt him.

My husband gave a woman a kiss on the cheek that wasn’t me

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