I am so lonely I feel like I'm dying

I am 30. My whole life I have played the role of a background character. I have been told this. I'm just invisible everywhere I go. <br><br>I've read multiple on how to make friends. I don't even know where to start. Join clubs, I've tried that. I'm just ignored. Walk up to people and introduce myself, people say "oh nice to meet you" but you see the awkwardness in their eyes. I've even tried joining clubs that I'm interested in but honestly when you're in a big group of people, you just feel more alone. <br><br>I'm done with trying to make friends. I'm going to spend my time focusing on me and learning how to be alone. But what really hurts is that I am starting to feel like I don't even exist. And I feel like I'm dying. I've lost count on how many hours I've spent crying. <br><br>I'll know that I'm truly alone when my parents die and I'll have no one. <br><br>I'm just so tired of feeling alone and invisible.