I'm struggling to understand the concept of gender

I'm an ally and I want to be as supportive of trans people as I can. I know that a poorly thought out opinion could be offensive. I've always been open to learning, and I want to understand the concept of gender as thoroughly and accurately as possible. I'm seeking knowledge to be a better ally to the LGBTQ+ community. I've sought out primary sources and done my own research, but I'm still feeling confused. I'm not seeking conflict or trying to go after trans people in any way.<br><br>I have questions surrounding certain topics: trans-racism, trans-mysogyny, the patriarchy, feminism, and the intersection of all of these concepts. There are a lot of people claiming that trans women are not women, and it seems rooted in the concept of gender. I believe their concerns are unfounded and that trans women are women, but I want to understand the best way to articulate this. I would appreciate resources and information about gender, so that my understanding of this subject is more complete. I want to make sure I understand the lived experiences of trans people. <br><br>I do understand that this is not a "philosophical" post, but I believe that this topic is rooted in philosophy. Gender is such a complex concept, and there are so many different perspectives on it. I can only imagine that philosophical discussion would help shape this concept. I believe discussion and learning can occur in even the most seemingly simple topics.<br><br>TLDR: I want to understand the gender debate, so that I can be a better ally. I've been doing a lot of research myself, but I feel like I can only learn as much as I can on my own. I'm looking for a discussion and further resources on this topic.