I don't know how I'm still alive and I can't stop thinking about how I was so close to death

This is an old story, this happened to me nearly 4 years ago but I still can't stop thinking about it. I've cried after thinking about it, it still feels so surreal to me and I can't stop thinking about how I was SO close to death. It scares me, it comforts me, it saddens me, it makes me so grateful, I don't know how to explain it.<br><br>My husband, my best friend, was picking me up from work one night and when I got in the car I noticed a weird smell. It smelled like gas, but I didn't think much of it. Later that night, when we stopped at a gas station, and I opened the door I smelled it again. It smelled TERRIBLY bad. I asked my husband if he smelled that and he said he didn't. A few more hours passed and I asked him again, "can you smell that?" And he said yes, as soon as I opened the door. It smelled so bad, like someone was pouring gas into the car. We got to our destination late that night and when my husband turned off the car he said, "its midnight, you know what that means?" And he kissed me. I have always loved that little romantic moment in Pocahontas but I couldn't focus on it. I was in complete and utter fear from the smell and I kept telling him, "I don't think we should be in the car". He looked at me weird and asked me if I was okay. We got out and I said, "smell it now, it smells like gas" and my husband smelled and said "oh my gosh, that DOES smell like gas". He jumped into the backseat to grab his phone to look up the nearest mechanic and that's when he noticed the passenger seatbelt wasn't buckled, but I didn't wear it because I was sitting next to him. I was begging him to get out because I thought the car was going to catch fire and kill me, and he told me to be quiet so he can look up the nearest mechanic. When he finished looking it up he was like, "mine! It smells like gas so bad!" And I asked him if he could smell it, and he said yes, it smells so bad. We went inside and we were both sitting on the couch, trembling with fear. We looked back at the car and it was lifted up on one side like it was going to tip over. My husband jumped out of the couch and said, "the tire! We could've blown up if we kept driving!" And I'm over here like, what tire? And he said the tire had a huge whole in it and it was flat. He said that if we kept driving it would've popped and the car would've rolled over and over and over and we would've said there and burned to death. We went to the mechanic the next morning and when my husband was explaining the story the man said, "no, no, no you would've been dead before you even made it here. You guys got very lucky. I don't know how you're still alive." <br><br>It's terrifying to think about, to think about how I could've died like that. It makes me sad and anxious. But it also makes me grateful, and all I can think about is how lucky I am that my husband is alive along with me. I don't know what I would do without him.