I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND

I have been married for 15 years and still stats to my husband as much as I can without putting us over our budget. <br><br>My husband is the most amazing man I know. I LOVE HIM SO VERY MUCH. <br><br>He takes care of our children when I'm not around. Cooks, pays the bills, keeps track and cares for the money, cleans, and takes care of our household. <br><br>We have 4 children all under 7. <br><br>My husband is the breadwinner in our family and I usually work side jobs and nanny to make sure we have money to buy nice things for our children. <br><br>I am the most grateful woman for all that he does. <br><br>I think that is the problem. I feel like because he is the breadwinner and he does all the work in the household and takes care of our children, that he feels he doesn't owe me anything. <br><br>That he does so much for us that he can do whatever he wants with out any repercussions. <br><br>And he DOES do whatever he wants and expects ME to do the same because I do the same things whether he is there or not. <br><br>I am so tired of this. <br><br>I am tired of having my ways of doing things not matter. <br><br>He doesn't talk to me anymore. If I try to talk to him about something he just says "yes dear" or "okay" and then walks away. <br><br>He used to love to talk to me. He used to love what I have to say. He used to think I was smart. <br><br>He used to love me. <br><br>I don't think he loves me anymore. <br><br>He doesn't want to do anything with me. He doesn't want me to go anywhere with him. <br><br>He would rather be by himself than with me. <br><br>I don't know what to do. <br><br>I am so tired of trying to make him love me again. <br><br>I am tired of begging him to love me. <br><br>I want a divorce. <br><br>I am tired of being treated like I am a roommate and not a wife. <br><br>I am tired of being treated like a mom. <br><br>I want to be treated like his QUEEN!<br><br>I am tired of being treated like absolute shit. <br><br>I need a lawyer but I don't have enough money to pay for one. <br><br>I need to get a job but I don't have the money to put the kids in daycare. I don't have the money to have babysitters. <br><br>And I don't want to leave my children. <br><br>I want my husband to take responsibility for them. <br><br>I want my husband to take responsibility for all that he has done. <br><br>I want my husband to finally listen to me and do what I want. <br><br>I want MY HUSBAND to do what I want and make ME happy for once. <br><br>I am tired of making him happy. I'm tired of giving to him and never getting anything in return. <br><br>I am tired of being a stupid GIVE AND TAKE wife! <br><br>He is a terrible husband and father. <br><br>I don't want him to be the father of my children anymore. <br><br>I don't want him to be my husband anymore. <br><br>I want someone else to be the father of my children. <br><br>I want someone else to be my husband. <br><br>I am tired of loving him. I am tired of wanting him to be happy. <br><br>I want to be happy. I want someone else to make me happy. <br><br>I want someone else in my life. <br><br>I'm tired of living for him and the kids. <br><br>I want my kids to live for me. <br><br>I want my husband to live for ME. <br><br>I am tired of calling him my husband. <br><br>I want him to be my stupid roommate. <br><br>I want him to be nothing. <br><br>I'm tired of trying. <br><br>I'm tired of saying this. <br><br>I'M TIRED OF TAKING THE BULLSHIT FROM THE MAN I LOVE.