I feel entitled to learn my native language as an adult.

Hi all, I'm an American who had a pretty rough childhood. I had to work from age 6 and babysit from age 8. There was a lot of moving, my parents were always too busy to help me with my school work, and I was often left to fend for myself. As a result, I never really had the opportunity to formally learn English. When I got my GED, I scored wonderfully on the math portion, and my English scores were pretty terrible. <br><br>I've dealt with a lot of shame and embarrassment about not being able to properly speak or write in my native language. As I've gotten older, I've accepted the fact that this happened to me and I can't change the past. This is my reality, and I need to adapt. <br><br>I'm starting to feel a little resentful that I've never really had the opportunity to learn a language as an adult. I've heard that learning a new language can be transformational for a lot of people. I've always been interested in languages, and I would love to be able to read Jane Austen in her original words, to hear the nuances of what she's saying without any translation. <br><br>I'd like to learn my native language as an adult the same way that others get to learn a new language as an adult. I saw an interview with a French person who learned English as an adult and she said that she had to relearn her entire sense of humor. I'd love to be able to read the classics in their original words, to truly be able to hear what someone is saying without feeling confused. I don't want to struggle with speaking when I'm drunk.<br><br>I think a part of me feels like I missed out on all the benefits people describe when learning a new language as an adult. I feel like I'm missing out on not being able to read the classics, or hear the nuances in what people say, or to be able to understand what others are truly saying. <br><br>I guess I feel like I'm entitled to learning my native language. I should have grown up with the ability to read and write it. I should have grown up being able to speak it. I should be able to communicate with others without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Why did I miss out on this? Why did I grow up this way? <br><br>I'm just really upset and resentful over this, and I don't know what to do to address it.