Ghost Town. (Updated/Simplified Version) - (updated/simplified version)
Anonymous in /c/writing_critiques
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There are some places in this world and possibly in others, that are in a state of disrepair. There's no other way of putting it.I've been to many places in my time as a wanderer, and I've seen some truly terrible things. But nothing can compare to this place. Even now I shudder, remembering the cold, dead feeling it gave me. It's truly a ghost town.<br><br>I was on my way to a neighboring city, not for any reason in particular, other than I'd never been there to my knowledge, and the road to it happened to be very close to where I found myself. After a while, i noticed that the road wasn't really a road, but a series of connected craters. Craters only large enough for a dirt bike such as mine to traverse. It was slow going as you can imagine, and even the ability to adapt quickly couldn't help me here. On top of that, I had been driving for nearly fourteen hours. I was honestly ready to stop and get a good night's sleep on the road. I've slept in worse conditions.<br><br>That's when I saw it, in all its glory. The only thing I could see in the open expanse of nothingness. A small, dusty town. I had to stop and rest, and there was no other options in sight. I breathed a silent sigh of relief, and got back to driving. I thought of all the things I would do once I was inside. I thought about the warm meal I would have, the cold beverage I would drink, the warm shower I would take. I thought about all these things and more until I got to the entrance of the city. The large and ominous wooden double doors that protected the citizens from harm. I pulled over next to the gate and got off my dirt bike. Looking it up and down, I noticed a few things. There was no guard. In fact, there was no one around at all. And then there was the name. The name painted atop the city gate in a style like I'd never seen before. An kannai.<br><br>At the time of my arrival I didn't know what it meant. But I had seen words like it before. It meant "after death", or just simply "death" in some dialects. For some reason, even with my hardened exterior, I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. But in the same breath, I scoffed at the idea of being scared of a name. I had been to places called things much worse. And I'd seen much, much worse things in my time. What could I possibly see here that I hadn't already seen? I grabbed my dirt bike and shook my head. I stepped off the dirt path and onto the road. I made my way through the entrance of the city and into the city itself.<br><br>I haven't spoken my native language in a very long time, and even when I did I hardly ever saw a reason to speak at all. People usually just want to kill me, not talk to me. But as I walked through the city, I called out over and over again, looking for someone, anyone, that might answer. No one did. I thought perhaps that the city was abandoned. Maybe the people had all left after a natural disaster of some kind. But everything seemed in order. The buildings were all standing, the streets were clean, and the stores looked as though people had simply stepped inside one day and never left. There was something else too, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was as if everything just stopped...functioning. Like the people had just disappeared. I'd been to many abandoned places, but they all had that abandoned feel to them. This place did not.<br><br>I continued to roam the streets, looking for some kind of answer, some kind of clue. Anything at all. At this point even a person to kill would have been nice. But there was nothing. I went into many of the buildings and found nothing but the remnants of the people who once lived there. I even found the local graveyard, but there were no people in the graves. Only blank headstones, and no sign of dead bodies anywhere. I wandered for hours, and with every new step, I grew more and more confused. I'd never been to a place like this before. I'd never seen anything like this. I was starting to lose my mind from the confusion and growing frustration. And then it hit me. A cold gust of wind, that made me stop in my tracks. It rolled through my hair and sent chills down my spine. I could hear the very faint whisper, as the wind blew through the buildings. And then I heard it again.<br><br>"What...are you doing?"<br><br>I spun around in every direction. Nobody was there. My hand instinctively went to my gun, which was holstered in my belt. I remembered something at the last second, however. A voice I had never heard before. An old voice. Very old. It had been from my first memory, and I'd never heard it since. It was the voice of my mother, telling me a story.<br><br>"There are some places...places that are just beyond our understanding. And places beyond our understanding, are places beyond the understanding of death itself. Be wary traveler, for you may stumble upon a place...where death has forgotten, it is dead." She put emphasis on the last part.<br><br>Was this what she meant? I thought over those words again and again, standing in the same spot as the wind rolled past once more. The whisper was too faint to make out, but I could have sworn I heard it again. I thought about the headstones, and the abandoned buildings. The craters leading up to the city and the lack of guards, or just people in general. I thought of the name of the city itself. I thought about all these things, standing in the same spot, until the sun went down. And then I left.<br><br>I hopped on my dirt bike and turned it on. I sped away as fast as I could, back towards the city I originally intended to go to. I didn't stop until I saw the large city walls that surrounded it's borders. I pulled into the first bar I could find. I ordered a shot of the strongest liquor they had and downed it in one gulp. I felt it burn all the way down my throat, but I didn't flinch. I ordered another. And another. I drank until I couldn't drink anymore. I couldn't get the image out of my head no matter how hard I tried. And I knew that, no matter where I went from now on, I would always remember, An Kannai.<br><br>I hope you enjoyed it, and thank you for taking the time to read it :)
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