I hate my new face

My experience with plastic surgery went horribly wrong three months ago. I wasn't trying to change everything about myself. Just a simple face lift to get rid of the wrinkles.<br><br>I'm 47 years old and have been a smoker for most of my life. The doctor warned me it might not turn out perfectly because of this, but I never could have imagined it would turn out as bad as it did.<br><br>My face looks like a bad drawing of another face from a kindergartener. It's lumpy, the proportions aren't even close to being symmetrical, and to top it off the whole thing is very discolored. It's as if they tried to recreate my face using the memory of a face they once saw, but couldn't quite get the details right.<br><br>I'm still waiting on the malpractice settlement, but living with this new face has become unbearable. <br><br>Everyone keeps asking me what's wrong with my face and why I decided to have it disfigured like this. There's no point in keeping my mouth shut, so I just tell them what happened. <br><br>My family and friends aren't used to seeing me like this yet either. Some days I just want to rip it off my head and go back to my old face. Most days that's exactly what I want.<br><br>I've also been getting these strange looks from strangers. They don't say anything. They just stare at my face in disgust. Yesterday someone actually called me a freak. <br><br>I wish I could feel normal again.