Confession of a former Elephant Whisperer

First of all, no, I am not a former zookeeper. This was not a profession for me. I just love elephants in the same way that some like cats or dogs. I like many animals, but there is something magical about them for me.<br><br>When I was a kid, I spent countless summer and winter mornings in zoos, but the thing I wanted to see was the elephants. I would spend the first half of the morning with them, and they were the ones I wanted to see before I left. For me, the zoo was about the elephants, and the elephants were the zoo. It was my little world.<br><br>As a child, I almost became the elephant whisperer. I say almost because a true elephant whisperer is a person who sees elephants for the first time in one's life, puts their hand on the fence, the elephant walks there, and then "presses" the palm of their hand. This ability is said to be possessed by people who are pure of heart.<br><br>I didn't have this, but I had a group of elephants who knew me very well - I was there every week. Even adults, the parents of young elephants who would bring their "kids" closer to the fence so I could pet them. Even though I didn't have an elephant whisperer's gift, I had a group of elephants that I loved and who reciprocated my love. One was a kind of guardian, he would always look after me and make sure I was safe.<br><br>It's hard to explain how much these animals meant to me. The elephants knew me so well, but the fact that I saw them every week made them part of my life, the same way one would see their classmates or colleagues. One can say that I was a little obsessed with them.<br><br>The two largest elephants were girls. One was a big gruff girl and the other was a little grumpy. Then there was a younger girl, who became my friend. She was not yet grown, but already near adulthood. I cannot describe the connection we had, but certainly at the level I often see in my own friends.<br><br>As an adult, I went back to the zoo less often, partly due to our small child and partly due to the fact that our city was too far from the zoo. We went several times, but it wasn't enough to keep up the friendship I had when I was a child. I have always loved elephants, but I'm no longer a zoo regular and even less an elephant whisperer.<br><br>This year I visited the zoo because the elephants were getting new enclosures, and I saw my friend again. She was already a large, adult elephant, but I recognized her as soon as I saw her. I was back in the world where she lived and I wanted to go back. I wanted to keep visiting her and the rest of the elephants. And I said so. But I did not.<br><br>If I were to return to the zoo, I would have to start all over again. I couldn't go back to when I was a kid, I couldn't be an Elephant Whisperer again. I couldn't bring the same energy and passion I had back then. I couldn't go back to spending half a year waiting to see her again. I couldn't go back to visit her every month.<br><br>We reciprocated our love for each other, the kind that never turns into anything else, because we grew up together. But I am an adult now and I understand that I will not be able to go back to being an Elephant Whisperer again.