I'm Russian, 58 years old and I am going to the war

I'm 58 years old, I'm going to the fucking war because of Putin's mistakes, he is a fucking psychopath, I hate him, I hate him with all my fucking heart. Update: I'm going to the fucking front line and I hate those Putin's fucking fellas. I'm only frightened by the thought of leaving my wife without any help, I'm in despair, I don't know what to do.