How do I get away with stealing the world's largest ball of twine?

I didn't mean to steal it. Nor did I plan on it ending up in my recreational vehicle. It just kind of happened, and now I'm being chased by 4 sheriff vehicles as I speed through the heartland of America, the world's largest ball of twine in tow.<br><br>My vacation started as most do: a typical road trip to various monuments and cities across the country. I had just left the world's largest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas after having spent a good hour admiring it and taking pictures.<br><br>On my way out, I stopped for a quick detour to go to the bathroom at a nearby gas station, and while I was in there, I ran into a man who claimed to be the curator of the Twine museum, now working at the local gas station just to get away from it all.<br><br>Curious, I asked what had happened, and he told me that the world's largest ball of twine was brought in the early 1900s as part of a publicity stunt. A rampant conspiracy had been going on for decades that the ball of twine was in fact a dense lattice of alien technology used for mind control and surveillance.<br><br>I chuckled at this, but was met with a stern warning that I should never trust that ball of twine, and that I shouldn't be there. Taking that as a sign that he was done talking, I left and made my way back to the parking lot where I had left my RV.<br><br>I threw my phone onto the passenger seat and started the car, oblivious to the fact that the curator had put a small rolled up piece of paper onto my phone as I was leaving.<br><br>Pulling out of the parking lot, I started to drive the 8 hour drive to Chicago, where I would be meeting some friends to eat Steakhouses and do some shopping. When I was about an hour down the road, I heard what sounded like a few taps on my roof, but dismissed it as road noise from the new tires I had on my RV.<br><br>About 15 miles farther down the road, I heard the noise again. But this time it was much louder. This time, it sounded like someone was walking on my roof. I pulled over onto the shoulder and got out to see what was going on.<br><br>To my surprise, I saw the world's largest ball of twine sitting on the roof of my RV. It was massive, measuring in at 40 feet around. I had no idea what to do, so I called the local authorities in Cawker City, Kansas, and as I was explaining to them what was going on, a police car pulled up - and it was from Cawker City.<br><br>The officer approached me as I was on the phone, and asked me to hand over the phone as well as my ID. He took the information I was explaining to dispatch, and then handed the phone back to me. Then, he read me my rights and placed me in handcuffs.<br><br>I didn't know what was happening, but I assumed it was because of the giant ball of twine on my roof. I had no clue how it got there, or why it was following me. But I was in trouble now, and I had to do something.<br><br>The officer placed me in the back of his police car, and then took my ID and phone into the RV to look for something. It was then that I noticed the rolled up piece of paper on my phone, which I had assumed was just a receipt.<br><br>It was a note, and it read:<br><br>"We don't know who you are or how you got this note, but you need to listen - that ball of twine is not what you think. I've risked my life to get you this note, and there's not much time. That ball of twine is not for display, it's a tool - a tool that's being used to manipulate and enslave everyone in this town. If you're reading this, it's because you've been chosen to lead a rebellion against the oppressors and free our minds from the twine.<br><br>Act now, before it's too late."<br><br>I'm still reading the note as the officer comes back and asks the question of "What is this?"<br><br>I quickly realize that he's holding the note, and I have no idea what was on it, and he knows I had it. So now I'm in even more trouble for knowing whatever it is that I know.<br><br>The officer turns his phone on me, and I soon realize I'm live on CNN as the police officer asks the question, "Sir, do you have any idea how this note got on you?"<br><br>I'm flabbergasted. They're live streaming me being arrested for having twine? I have no idea what to say. I have no idea what's going on.