I was on the fence for the last two years and I think I'm almost ready to conclude I don't want kids

For the last two years I was more unsure than ever about having kids or not. It's not like I was on the fence before but I used to think that the desire to have kids should be 100%, if you're unsure for a second you should not have kids, it's not for you. But when I started to question it I felt like all this uncertainty was unfamiliar and I wanted to give myself time to think about it, because it's not fair to say you don't want kids and then be surprised if you change your mind about it.<br><br>I'm 25 and for the last 2 years I found that the only kind of thoughts I have about it are negative. I feel like if I ever change my mind I'm gonna feel resentment towards my kids, and I've been working hard to be able to get somewhere in my life, and the only thing I can think about it is that kids would set me back. I feel the same about buying a house. I thought in my 30s I would be there. Now I want to enjoy the home I have, and buy a house in my 40s, and enjoy that part of my life too. However, if I have kids, I will have to do this sooner. I want to travel, I want my free time back, I don't want to be responsible for another person when I'm not sure if I can be responsible even for myself, and I'm saying this as someone who grew up with a lot of responsibilities.<br><br>Up until last week I thought my problem was that I'm still unsure and I should give myself more time to think about it. But last Saturday I was at a dinner for a friend's child's birthday and I was just watching the kids. I realized I'm not even sure if I like kids. I was only willing to only have one because of this. But to be fair, I'm not sure if I dislike them either. I just don't have any kind of connection with them, and that's how I've always been. But that night, I realized that kids are not for me. There are too many things I don't want to do, and I'm just not ready to do them.<br><br>I feel like I've been trying to convince myself for years, and my mind just drew its final conclusion about it last week. I really hate how people talk about it, like they won't consider their child's feelings about the situation. My parents are not like this, but I've seen people really insult and degrade their children because they figured out their own mistakes about having them. It's so heartbreaking and unempathetic to see. <br><br>I've been trying to talk to my therapist about it, but my therapist is a dad, and I'm pretty sure he's going to not be willing to help. I've been feeling a lot lonely lately, and I hope I can just help myself on this one, because it's scary.<br><br>If you're like me, would you tell me your experience? I feel like I'm going to discover more things that are not fitting with my idea of having kids.