I've Been A Meth Addict For 30 Years. Here's What I Can Tell You.

I've been a meth addict for 30 years. I've been to rehab, spelling and grammar classes, and even a tattoo school. I've had wives, kids, good paying jobs, and my own house. And now I'm homeless, living in a bush. In fact, I'm in that bush right now, typing on my phone. Here's what I want you to know.<br><br>**Meth is addictive.** Sometimes, I meet someone who says they could never be addicted to a drug, because they're too strong willed. But I was too strong willed also, once. I had a good personality, good looks, and a talented voice. I was a great friend, a great boyfriend, a happy, fun person. But then I met meth. I was a hardcore addict for 5 years before I realized it. That's right, I was such a great liar, I lied to myself. I remember the day I first "came out" as an addict. I was 26 years old, and living in my mother's basement with my two kids. I was so sorry, I cried.<br><br>**People say "it's for losers" because they're too afraid to admit they could be one too.** I had about 5 good years after being 26, and then I spent 10 being a "weekend warrior." But then I started losing jobs, and my last marriage fell apart. I tried to kick for a long time, but I couldn't. So I let it take over my life, and now I'm a "loser."<br><br>So in reality, it's the opposite of what people say. They're too scared to try it because they know they will like it. They know they have a problem with addictive behavior. It's ok to admit this. It doesn't make you weak.<br><br>**Meth is a drug for the sexually active.** I've been in several relationships with women who would not be considered traditionally "hot." But on meth, they look amazing. It's like an evolutionary adaptation, making you think everyone is attractive, so you can reproduce. Be careful, meth babies are real.<br><br>**Meth can make you smart.** When I was "banged out," I was a lot more talented and creative than I ever was before. I remember going to the bar with my ex, and my meth paranoia had me convinced there were people watching us that wanted to hurt us. My ex was very smart, and she had an idea. She had me sit down on a barstool, and she sat on my lap. She then talked for about two hours, and I never said a word. And no one bothered us. I still think that's really funny, and impressive.<br><br>**Meth can ruin your teeth.** This is partly because it's so acidic. I remember one time, when I was 26 and still able to deny my addiction, my jaw cracked so hard, I literally heard my teeth fall down the back of my throat. I went to the hospital, but they were already dissolved. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced. I took 6 norcos every 8 hours for a month.<br><br>**Meth is cheap.** Some people say "I don't understand why opiate addicts don't just switch to meth because it's cheaper and there's always a supply." Well, this is true. It is cheap. But for some reason, not many people want it. I think it's because it doesn't work for chronic pain. Plus, it has some pretty heinous side effects.<br><br>**Meth gives you superhuman strength, and makes you impervious to pain.** Just like in the movies, it's true. I fell out of a 5 story building once, with only minor injuries. I've fought cops and walked away. But this is only short term, and not always true. Eventually, you lose that. Sometimes the drugs you get aren't good. Sometimes, you're just tired. But usually, you won't even notice.<br><br>**Meth makes you paranoid.** Sometimes, you think you hear someone talking about you, just because they say a word you've also said. This can be a problem. I don't think it's something you ever really get used to. But usually, it's a "harmless" anxiety, nothing more. And usually, it wears off after a few days of being clean.<br><br>**Meth will try to make you kill yourself.** Now I've heard this about a lot of drugs. But maybe it's because I've been around it for so long, but I've seen it happen so many times. What happens is, the drug convinces you to do something that you know is wrong, and you know has consequences. But you do it anyway, and then you deal with the consequences. This always leads to feeling like shit, and wanting to kill yourself. The drug know this, so it tells you to kill yourself. And it will not stop until you do it. Sometimes, this is temporary, and you can get through it. Other times, it's not. Don't think you can handle it. If you're thinking you want to kill yourself, just go to the hospital. It might be embarrassing, it might suck, it might ruin your life, but trust me, you don't want to die. And if you don't believe me, just wait a few days. It can't last forever.<br><br>**Meth makes you do embarrassing, shameful things.** In rehab, I've heard many people say the same thing. It's like the drug wants you to do something that you're embarrassed about. This can be any number of things. Some people steal, other people have affairs. Some people just sleep all day. And it always brings you to a new low. In fact, this is often how the drug tries to make you kill yourself. But it only needs to make you hate yourself, because if you hate yourself enough, you don't want to live anyway.<br><br>**Meth makes you look gross.** This is partly because of the drug. Meth is highly acidic, which makes your skin weak. It also fucks with your metabolism, making you gain weight. And because you're addicted to a drug, you don't really care about much else. People say "if I were addicted to heroin, I'd stop using because I wouldn't want to look like that." But if you're addicted to heroin, you don't care. And it's the same with meth. In fact, it's worse. Because there is some sort of hope with heroin. There is no hope with meth.<br><br>In conclusion, if you're thinking about trying meth, or just starting to experiment, please be careful. If you're thinking you're a "weekend warrior," don't be so confident that you can handle it, just because you've been able to so far. If you're already in trouble with meth, don't be afraid to ask for help. People will want to help you. Even though I'm living in a bush right now, I'm not giving up. And neither should you.<br><br>Edit: Hey everyone, thanks for all your support. Sorry if I couldn't respond to your comment. That's kind of why I posted this, because I was feeling a little lonely. Also, a lot of you are telling me to stop smoking weed. I haven't smoked it in 8 years, so it's not the problem here. In fact, if I had some, I'd probably be a lot more chill right now.<br><br>I also want to address the pic thing. I understand not believing someone you don't know on the internet. But the idea that I'm glorifying this life by posting pics makes me angry. I'm not the one glorifying it. I'm trying to tell people how bad it is. If you think my pics make me look cool, there's something wrong with your head.<br><br>I want to thank everyone who offered me money and help. I'm not ready to accept your help yet. I'm OK for the time being, and I have a plan for getting a job. I just need to sit down and do it.<br><br>And lastly, if you're an addict, there is hope for you. You're not alone. And if you're not an addict, be careful, because you never know.<br><br>Edit #2. All I see in the comments are people arguing over whether I'm telling the truth or not. This is helping no one. Please stop it. If you think I'm lying, then it's probably for a good reason. And if you believe me, you probably have good reasons for that too. Stop trying to change each other's minds, and just be happy someone is talking about a problem. Even if it's not true, it's still a problem.